Shattered Dreams
by CasualtyDreamer2
Summary: First ever fanfic! Nick and Zoe both need each other but what will it take to bring them back together?What challenges lay ahead for the pair and how much will it test their relationship? All mistakes mine and all characters belong to the BBC as always ( apart from O/C) X
1. Chapter 1

Nick and Zoe, Mr and Mrs Jordan, the power couple of the Ed. Just the two of them against the world, fighting against anything life threw at them. Nice house big garden, couple of kids- happy little family. That was the dream anyway. Until a few months ago. The events still running clearly in his mind at any time of day, every day. It had all happened fast, a little too fast. One minute they were planning their future, mapping every last detail out. The next the truth all came out. Zoe wasn't pregnant she never was and she never could be. As much as it hurt him he knew he couldn't blame Zoe entirely. He had pushed her into it, didn't give her a chance to think any of it through. That was what she had said any way the night she walked out of their apartment and never came back. Living without her for last few months had been almost impossible. Living without his Doctor Hanna was proving a lot harder than he first thought it could ever be.

He was so used to waking up to her beautiful face that opening his eyes that next morning to see no silky black hair falling sexily in a pair of deep brown eyes that were so easy to get lost in was a huge shock. Her slightly fruity scent still clung to the pillows he had taken to smelling them at nick, just to give him a little bit of Zoe he knew he couldn't have anymore.

He was sat in his office tapping his pen on his pile of paperwork that seemed to be growing by the hour. The click of a pair of all too familiar heels on the corridor bringing him out of his trance she seemed to have over him 24/7. The door opened. He knew exactly who it was. The only person who could get away without knocking. Zoe. Just that name made him feel warm inside it was stupid really that he could be like a love sick puppy when she wasn't around and some kind of drooling teenager with the biggest crush possible whenever she walked or strutted into a room. He dropped the pen from his now slightly sweaty hands he was hugely nervous for seeing her for some reason. His eyes gazed up past the black patent killer heels, the figure hugging shift dress and the soft olive skin. The perfectly highlighted bob and the delicate brown eyes, he couldn't help the smile that was now tugging at his lips. She mirrored the smile just in a friendly way but that was enough for nick. He was now officially head over heels in love with this woman, not that he would ever tell her that though. Not now anyway, too much water under the bridge. Even so neither of them could deny the spark between them that every so often triggered with the smirks and sarcastic smile try threw around the Ed . Everybody else could see they despertatley needed each other, they were just chose to ignore it every time.

He finally found his voice "what can I do for you Doctor Hanna?" He asked gesturing at the chair opposite his desk for her to sit on "oh no I'm not stopping I just wanted to let you know I need a couple of days off work" he was so wrapped up admiring how her soft Liverpudlian accent pronounced certain words he barely even registered what she was saying. When he had finally fallen out of yet another daze , her words came loudly in his mind. His heart sunk a little "oh right any particular reason?" He asked "what I get up to in my private life has nothing to with you anymore, you made sure of that" she said turning on her heel and heading for the door. He let a huge sigh fall from his lips and sunk back into his chair. As she reached for the door handle it was like a sudden wave of emotions came washing over her wiping everything she had just said away. She turned back around to face him "I am sorry you know nick I didn't mean for any of this to happen" she said he simply nodded "I know you didn't I didn't either" in that moment she knew that was all she was going to get out of him. Her egotistical, power driven Mr Jordan but she wouldn't have him any other way. She smiled to herself at the thought of him being all hers once upon a time, she closed the door locking all those feelings she once had for him, still had for him away.

A little later on Zoe was sat at the nurses station laughing with jay at a joke he had just made he guessed was about him. He rolled his eyes and walked over to her. Placing down his folders with a little slam Zoe jumped "god nick you scared the life out of me" she chuckled that gorgeous smiles still playing at her soft red lips. "Um patient waiting in cubicle 5" he said opening a folder and beginning some paperwork. "That's nice" she said wrapping a strand of her silky hair around her finger. He looked up and raise his eyebrows "can you please just drop the sarcasm for once" he sighed. She stood up and raised her eyebrows back at him "or you could actually try treating some patients you know I though you were clinical lead not just a paperwork addict" she strutted off to the pulled open the curtain she flashed him a sarcastic smile and disappeared into the cubical.

For the next couple of hours nobody had seen Zoe they guessed she was on her break smoking or drinking coffee but she wasn't in her usual place on the wall just by the no smoking sign. Nick chuckled to himself thinking about how she would always break the rules to get her own way, just like him. He gazed down at his Rolex to see Zoe's break should have finished a good hour ago he frowned and fixed his eyes on the Ed doors. Watching every person walk in and out waiting for his heart beat to speed up at te sight if her. It didn't happen. She didn't walk in. Nick began to worry a little she never skived and was always back maybe five or ten minutes late but never one hour. He ran a hand through his short stubble and pulled out his phone. he scrolled through his contacts right to the end. Z.O.E just those letters held so many emotions that he was now some sort of expert at keeping hidden away. He took a deep breath and called it. It rang a couple if times but went straight to answer phone. He frowned that was another thing, she always answered phone, always. That ridiculous ringtone driving everyone insane she wanted to shut it up. He slipped away to his office to think everything over. He must have been thinking well over twenty minutes. The knock of the door and the flinging of it opened waking him a little "Mr Jordan" jay said breathlessly "please don't freak out Tess thought you should know" he said breathlessly looking worried "what is it" nick asked now a panicking "it's Zoe she's been hit by a car".


	2. 2 Make It Through The Night

"It's Zoe she's been hit by a car" those words spun around his mind like a broken record. It was becoming more and more difficult to breathe, he grabbed the edge of the desk and blinked hard. Maybe he had heard him wrong "wha-what?" He managed "Zoe's been hit by a car" jay said slowly. Nick slammed his fist down on the desk sending a pile of paperwork flying. "You coming to see her?" Jay asked catiously aware that the feelings nick had for Zoe were too strong to ever be forgotten. Before jay could get a reply nick had alreay run out of the office and was swinging the resus doors open. As he fell into resus it hit him hard, a lot harder than he thought it would. "Oh sweetheart" was all he could get out. Jay caught up with him and put a hand on his shoulder which he quickly brushed away. He didn't need any sympathy right now he just needed Zoe.

He made his way over to her bedside where she was laid looking helpless and weak. A little smile spread across his face as she still looked as beautiful as ever even with the drip in her arm and the grazes all over her delicate body. He sat beside her and clutched her limp hand like he was clinging on for dear life, maybe he he actually needed her a little more than he let on. He tucked a strand of her glossy hair that had fallen onto her face behind her ear his hand catching her ruby heart earrings that he had bought her for Christmas. He stroked her soft skin. Just the feel if it sent a shiver down his spine-a good one. The kind that made him feel warm inside and made him weak at the knees. It was then that he finally let the long held back tears fall. They fell covering his already tear stained face. He didn't bother to wipe them away he didn't see the point when he was pretty sure more would fall during the night that lay ahead of them both. It pained him inside to see her in so much pain and a big part of him, the part that only Zoe got to see, wanted to exchange places with her just so she wouldn't have to suffer.

A little later on a gentle hand touched his shoulder. He smiled. Tess. He looked up at her with a warm smile on his face trying to mask the tears. "How are you?" She asked looking at him with narrowed eyes clearly concerned for both of them. "It doesn't matter how I am does it. It's Zoe who needs the attention" he said tilting his head slightly so he could admire his Zoe. But then it hit him, she wasn't his any more she hadn't been for a while. The tears came flooding back then and he slammed his fist on his lap frustrated with himself for not putting up a fight for her. Who was he kidding he was a mess without her. Tess tutted and enveloped him in a comforting hug that any other moment he would have hated but this was different, he felt different. It was only ever with Zoe that he felt these kind of emotions that mixed him up completely. Love. That small four lettered word that he had never had to experience properly before. Those three words, 8 letters that he had avoided so many times was all he needed to hear from Zoe right now. He would give anything just to hear her bubbly voice. God nick get a grip she's not dead. He thought to himself. He pulled away from the hug and nodded at Tess "I'm going to look after her properly from now on" he said determined to make Zoe proud of him. "She needs that" Tess replied bent over and kissed Zoe's cheek before leaving the two of them together. "What am I going to do with you hey?" He smiled kissing her hand before drifting off into a deep sleep his hand firmly gripped around hers and his head resting on her bed. Exactly where he needed to be.


	3. Get Out

Nick must have been sleeping for a good few hours dreaming of the woman he would fight for until the end, as always. The choking coming from Zoe's bed quickly woke him. He sprang up like he had been scolded. "Zoe!" He panicked freezing on the spot. He had been in this situation a million times before, but Zoe had never been the patient always the one there to help him. He felt his whole world crashing down right in front of him. It was happening again, he wasn't fighting for her. He shook his head trying to erase the nagging voice in his head telling him to save her if she really meant anything to him. He flung his arm out hitting the emergency button.

Almost instantly Cal and Rita came running in. "Help her Rita please" he begged through the tears that had found themselves on his cheeks yet again. Rita gave him a sympathetic look and raced over to assist Cal. "Rita suction please" he called. The rest was a blur to him. A slur of words and a slow motion tangle of movement. But the one thing that stuck out over everything was her voice. Quiet and afraid unlike the loud and confident voice he was so used to. "Nick" she whispered tears now mirroring his. He rushed over to her and flung his arms around her so tightly like he would never see her again. She retested her head in his chest breathing in his scent. Tommy Hilfiger. The very smell she had been drawn to all those years ago in his office-where it all started. "What happened" he asked as they pulled apart reluctantly resting their foreheads on each other's. He didn't want to freak her out with too many questions but he needed to know how. She shook her head not wanting to relive the events. "Zoe please" he pleaded. Cal and Rita silently slipped away to give them some space. "Don't make me talk about it nick" she begged a hint of frustration in her voice. "Do you want me to help you? You're not exactly making it very easy!" He said sternly but instantly regretted his words as he saw her began to shake a little. "Why would you want to help me, I'm no use to you anymore!" She shouted, using all her energy to tell him how she felt. "Stop being so selfish" he frowned turning his head away "don't ever call me selfish again I forged your signature to save your life I wasn't the one who ran away when the real world faced up to him" she knew she had him there, just the mention of the tumour and both of them were in pieces. "And I'm not the one who lied about being pregnant" he said quietly his head down. "Get out" she whispered her voice shaky. He stayed firmly still in his chair "get out" she yelled tears streaming down her face. He stormed out without even looking back once. He slammed the doors sending the alarm bells ringing in everyone's minds. "Nick what's happened is Zoe ok?" Adam asked appearing at his side "oh doctor Hanna's perfectly fine she's got the spotlight on her as always" he replied sarcastically walling briskly to his office , his 'annoying loud shoes' as Zoe called them clopping all the way down the corridor.

Collapsing into his chair, he lost it. All that hurt and anger he had inside of him eating him up. His phone beeped with a message from O2 he threw it against the wall hitting the picture of him and Zoe outside the Ed all smiles and laughter. The glass shattered and the picture lay flat down on the carpet. There was a knock on the door and Tess stepped in frowning at the glass "nick what's gotten into you" she sighed carefully treading over the shards of glass. "Zoe happened" he said simply his head in his hands. "She pushed me away again Tess" he said looking up his eyes looking like a lost little boy. "Because she's hurt too this whole whatever it is isn't easy on her either" she said not sure weather to go on. "Your very similar you know? You just need to learn how to let each other in" she said softly. Nick closed his eyes "I just don't know how to Tess, every time I try to help her I end up getting angry" he admitted, letting everything that was killing him bottling up out. "You're in love" Tess answered smiling. In that moment he realised he didn't care that she had lied -he was hardly a saint himself. He didn't care that she enjoyed having the attention firmly set on her and he didn't care that things were going to be undoubtably difficult. All her cared about was that perfect woman that he had let slip through his fingers too many times. That same perfect woman who had risked her entire career to save his life. Yes his life! That was a whole lot more important than his 'precious' Ed that always seemed to be his focus. The only problem was he had no idea how to get that perfect woman back in his arms again but he would do whatever it would take to get his Zoe Hanna back where he needed her to be. 

**Sorry this is a short chapter again but next chapter will be longer! Please R&R the reviews so far have been really encouraging xxx**


	4. Just A Gift

After racking his brains for a good half an hour going round and round in circles, he ended up outside the jewellers in the middle of town he knew Zoe loved. He had to find her a gift that could portray what he so despertatley needed to tell her without being so plain and simple, their relationship was far from simple. He chuckled a little to himself as he recalled all the moments they had shared. As he pushed the door open all he could picture was Zoe laying on her hospital bed all alone. He exhaled deeply and headed towards the counter taking in all the perfectly polished jewellery on the way. His eyes were quickly drawn to a small silver bracelet that lay on a bed of red velvet. "Good afternoon sir" the man behind the counter greeted him "afternoon" nick returned the welcome with a warm smile "what can I do for you?" He asked pushing his glasses further into his face a smug smile on his face as he could tell nick had a fair bit of money from his Savile Row suit. "That bracelet I want it" he said simply pointing to the silver piece that he could already see suiting Zoe to a tee, just like most things. The man nodded and lifted the glass lid of the counter and pulled out the bracelet he placed it down in nicks palm without saying a word "would it be possible to get a message engraved?" He asked pushing a crisp twenty pound note across the counter as a small incentive. The mans eyes widened and he quickly took the bracelet away to the back room "what would you like the message to say?" He called through to nick. Nick thought for a few moments before taking a piece of paper from his blazer pocket and scribbling down a small note.

Back in the Ed Zoe was fed up of being stuck in bed all day. She couldn't help thinking about Nick. That annoyed her a lot, she was sure she was strong enough to get through it without him but it turned out she wasn't, she needed him "Tess where's nick?" She asked playing with her hair like she did whenever she was nervous. "I'm not sure he left a couple if hours ago?" Tess shrugged checking the drip in Zoe's arm "why do you want him?" Tess asked smirking a little to herself "no just wondering" Zoe replied resting her head back down on the pillow and closing her eyes.

A little later on the doors swung open and Zoe opened one eye to see a grinning Nick stood at the door she rolled her eyes and sat up. "What you grinning at- won the lottery?" She said dead-pan "not as such" he answered sitting down in the chair beside her. They sat in silence for a few minutes the tension in the room so overpowering. "I got something for you actually" he said pulling the little red box from his pocket. He lifted the lid and a smile spread across Zoe's soft red lips. "Thank you" she whispered. He removed the bracelet and took her hand he kissed it and slipped the band on her wrist she admired it and as the light hit the centre she caught the words "for the woman I can't live without, all my love, Nick" she let a little tear trickle down her cheek "hey hey no tears" he said dropping her hand and cupping her face he wiped the tear away with the pads of his thumbs. "I love you" she whispered looking deep into his now sparkling eyes "I love you more" he admitted "I always have and I always will" he kissed her lips gently tasting the saltiness from the previous tear. She kissed him back a lot stronger so he deepened the kiss. They broke apart both beaming 'God i love you Doctor Hanna" he said stroking her cheek "I love you too Mr Jordan" she replied her eyes twinkling. He embraced her into a tight hug holding her close not ever wanting to let her go. Zoe giggled as she spotted the grinning faces at the doors. Nick spun around and gave them 'the look' and soon enough they disappeared back to work. Zoe laughed "you enjoy being the boss way too much" she said tilting her head to gaze at him he winked that wink that could make her do anything and she kissed him quickly. "Don't ever leave me again ok" she warned settling down onto his chest. He kissed the top of her head "I won't i promise" he whispered. "good' she replied before closing her eyes once more and drifted off to sleep wrapped up in Nicks loving arms.

They were finally back to where they needed to be. He had done it, he had taken the chance and told her he loved her. And he did. He really really loved her and he could scream it from the rooftops. He could honestly say he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. As for Zoe, she couldn't even put how she felt into words. She had got her Prince Charming and he was going to hold into him for as long as she could.

**Than you so much for all the reviews really makes writing this worthwhile! Hope you enjoyed this chapter & please let me know what you thought of it xxxx**


	5. Blast From The Past

They walked out of lift glued to each other, as usual. Nicks arm was protectively wrapped around Zoe's waist-to mark his territory as well as to support her. He wanted everyone to know that Zoe Hanna was all his and nobody could change that! She placed on hand on his and squeezed it a little before she was swallowed up in the crowd of people showering her with hugs and flowers.

"Is that a Zoe Hanna I hear" a voice came from behind her. Jay. She practically jumped to him and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug "I missed you" she said as they pulled away smiling. "Not as much as I missed you" he replied placing an arm around her shoulders. Nick watched intently from his chair admiring Zoe and the close bond she seemed to have with every single member of the Ed team. "Oi careful Jay she's strictly Nick Jordan's now" Adam joked Zoe hit him on the arm "alright I was only joking no need to attack me" he chuckled she flashed him one of her signature sarcastic smiles. "Now that is one thing I definetely not missed- the sarcasm" he laughed she had to resist the temptation to reply with a sarky comment. "Alright you've got me there" she giggled slipping off her heels. "Surprised Nick lets you wear those still I thought he would have put you on some kind if reigns" Adam laughed "oh trust me he's tried it took me a while to pursude him to let me wear these beauties" she said gesturing to her heels that were now effortlessly draped on the floor. Adam simply rolled his eyes and disappeared to make her a coffee.

Nick wandered over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and nuzzled into her neck. She smiled at his touch, the touch that brought back so many memories that neither of them were willing to forget anytime soon. She rubbed his arm "what's this hey? Mr Jordan showing a PDA?" He simply brushed the hair away that fell effortlessly against her soft olive skin gently and kissed the skin he found there. "Well you're certainly worth it" he whispered. She loved that whisper, it showed the slightly vulnerable side to the powerful, fearless Nick Jordan everybody but Zoe was offered. Zoe on the other hand got the considerate, caring and slightly soppy at times side of him- a side that nobody else would ever get the pleasure of being surrounded with. He couldn't help it though, whenever Zoe was around, his heart beat increased a little and his whole world seemed to slow down. Zoe turned around in his arms and looked up to him as she was considerately shorter than him without her heels on. She leant up to him and captured his lips in one slow kiss. The kind of kiss only Zoe could give. He felt warm inside and his face blushed a little. Zoe always found this highly amusing and couldn't help the little smirk that was spreading over her face. "Fancy an early night Doctor Hanna" he whispered she hummed her approval. Nick gave her that 'killer wink' that did indescribable things to her. He pulled her close and rocked her slightly along to the soft beat of the music that was now playing somewhere in the room. It was like they were the only two in the room- completely wrapped up in each other. Nick got that feeling a lot actually. Every time he held Zoe everything just melted away and right there he had everything he had ever wanted out of life and everything he needed. His Zoe Hanna.

Adam returned with Zoe's coffee and stood smiling at the scene before him. Two lovers that so desperately needed each other wrapped up in each other's arms. It made him proud to see Zoe, who he saw as a little sister, beyond happy without somebody who so clearly adored her. He knew that Nick was arrogant, self centred and pig-headed a lot of the time but there wasn't a doubt in the world that he would ever leave Zoe. He simply loved her too much. There was nothing more to say, she completed him and he completed Zoe if she was honest. Everyone knew this and the love between the two of them over the years had become contagious.

The two love birds barely noticed anything that happened around them but the one thing that they both noticed as clear as day was the voice of a young girl. It cut out everything else in the room. "I'm looking for my mum, Zoe Hanna" ...

Ohh Zoe what's the secret ?! Sorry guys had to end it there- keep you on edge and all that ;) Thanks so much again for all the reviews please keep them coming x Sophie xxxx


	6. Mum?

"Did she just say mum?" Jay breathed his shocked expression matching everybody else's. "I erm I think we better leave you to it" Adam said clearly uncomfortably, rallying everyone out of the staff room in an attempt to give the three of them some space. "Mum?" Nick asked quietly taken back by all of this. Zoe stepped away from him and rubbed her forehead. She gazed up at his face cautiously, really not ready for an argument. This was as much of a shock to her as it was for Nick. She didn't see anger in his face just a picture of shock and a slight flicker of disbelief in his eyes that he was quick to cover up. "Mum is that you?" The young girl spoke again. A lump formed in Zoe's throat at the word 'mum' never in a million years would she have imagined to be labelled as a mother. Another life relying on her, that was a completely new concept. Zoe took a hand through her silky dark hair and took the opportunity to look at her daughter. A tiny tear fell onto her cheek as she saw just how much she looked like herself. The soft olive skin and the big brown eyes and the classic fashion sense clear to her. "Um yeah Jasmine it's me, your um your mum" Zoe replied hesitantly. She watched as a warm smile appeared on her beautiful face. "You're beautiful just like I remember you" she said making her way over to Zoe. They both sat down on the sofa next to each other, a similar height and very similar personalities. Nick had perched on the end of the sofa with his hand on the small of her back. He was taking it all surprisingly well. "How did you find me?" Zoe asked. The question had been on her mind the minute she laid eyes on Jasmine. "Well you made a pretty big impression on Nan and Grandad they are always talking about what you got up to when you were younger" Jasmine laughed. The sound of her laughter was something that really hit home for Zoe. She hadn't heard that adorable little giggle for at least 12 years. She felt awful then, she hadn't seen her baby daughter in 12 years. She hadn't been there to support her or to even see her off on her first day of school. "Oh god I'm so sorry" She managed tears now in her eyes. Nick tutted and put an arm around her. She flashed him a smile and wiped her eyes. "Um Jaz - if I'm alright to call you that?" Zoe asked. Jasmine nodded quickly and took Zoe's hand. "I know this is a bit weird cos I sure know it is for me. I mean the last time I saw you I was about 4 and now I'm seeing you again" Zoe squeezed her hand slightly and Jasmines grip on hers tightened.

She felt a new kind of emotion rush through her she hadn't even experienced before. It wasn't the kind of love she felt for Nick. It was a sort of sense of pride that she felt towards her she had become this intelligent, gorgeous young woman all on her own.

"Do -do you see much of your dad?" Zoe whispered knowing that this would be a sensitive subject if Nick found out who her dad was. Jasmine shook her head "no not anymore, not since he left for London, I didn't even realise he worked here" she explained wrapping a strand of her silky hair around her finger the way Zoe always did. Nick had began to piece it all together. A doctor who had worked in Holby and left for London,with a past with Zoe. Matt Strong, Zoe had a daughter with Matt Strong!

He took a deep breath and tried to compose himself ,he didn't want to stress Zoe out especially after she had just been discharged. "So I was left by both my parents" Jasmine whispered trying to hold back the tears that had began to stream down her soft cheeks. "Oh Jasmine you know I'm so so sorry about that" Zoe pleaded with her but the girl simply dropped Zoe's hand and turned to face the door with her back to her mum. "I didn't leave you by choice" Zoe admitted slowly "of course you did, you don't just give up your little girl by accident do you!" Jasmine yelled "hey Jasmine don't yell , your mums just come out of hospital" Nick said calmly stroking Zoe's back. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do!? It's nice to see you two all loved up while I've lived for the last 12 years without either of my parents" She shouted through the cascading tears. "We were fine for a while the three of us, then your dad left me and I had to bring up a little girl all on my own with a demanding job" Zoe began but she was cut off "you weren't the only single parent, you make it sound like everything was hard on you- I was the one without parents to look up to, just Nan and Grandad who need help themselves" she defended herself-something she had gotten used to over the years. Nick admired how much she was like Zoe, not just the looks or the attitude but the way her mood could change in a split second. "Do you not think if I could turn back the time I would- I'd bring you up as best I could but there's no way I could have brought you up into this beautiful young lady you are today" Zoe sighed "you could have tried" Jasmine spat. "You let me down when I was four years old mum, four years old" she screeched. That was what got Zoe going, the teas streamed freely and they had no intention of stopping any time soon "Jasmine please" she begged touched her shoulder, Jasmine swiftly brushed her hand off standing up "It was a mistake coming here- I don't want anything to do with you ever again" She replied a lot quieter now, battling against the tears that mirrored Zoe's. She stormed out and slammed the staff room door. Zoe jumped up and ran to the door in a desperate attempt to reach Jasmine but she could even open the door, her sight compromised by the tears and her whole body shaking uncontrollably. In two strides nick was by her side "come on Zo she's gone" he said gently. Zoe turned to face him shaking her head "I need to see my daughter" she whispered collapsing into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her breathing in her fruity scent. "Hey hey no tears it's all going to be ok, I promise"he whispered softly stroking her hair. He felt her nod against him and he kissed the top of her head.

Eventually Zoe's tears seemed to calm down a little but her breathing was still uneven. Nick took her hand and sat her back down "come on Zoe we'll get through this together I'll make sure Jaz comes back" he vowed to her looking straight into her deep brown eyes. "Thank you" was all she could manage. He winked at her causing her insides to turn to jelly the way they always did when they first got together. "I just can't believe you had a daughter, I thought you couldn't" he said hesitantly, not particularly wanting to raise the very sensitive issue. But he had to, they hadn't ever really talked about it all, they simply ignored every chance they got. "That was well before I even knew you existed" she replied taking his hand "I'd give anything to have had Jasmine with you, you know" she admitted looking down. He lifted her chin up so she was looking directly at him "then we'll do this together, we'll get Jasmine back and we'll raise her, just the two of us- they way it should be" he replied adamant that he would do right by her. "But Nick I don't want anything to be uncomfortable you, you know after everything we went through on the baby front" she muttered "come on sweetheart we're over that aren't we?" He asked tracing circles on her hand "course we are" he smiled and kissed her hand "there you go it doesn't matter that she's not my daughter. She already has you as a mum and that's more than anyone could ever wish for". This triggered a little smile on Zoe's face which soon died. "Some mum I am" she frowned a little. "Stop living in the past, we're going to make a go of this even if it kills me, ok?" He stated telling Zoe that she had no choice, they were going to have the family they had dreamed of all those years ago. "I reckon it will kill you, living with two women" she joked trying to make light of the whole situation, the way she always did. Even though she felt completely different inside. "Oh I'm sure I'll manage" he chuckled slightly. "You are wonderful" she beamed "so I've been repeatedly told" he joked squeezing her hand "are we really doing this, you and me, settling down?" She asked running her spare hand through her soft hair. "We sure are".

That was all Zoe needed. They were going to get Jasmine back, maybe twelve years late, but they were doing it. After all the fun and games they were ready to settle down, really commit to each other and start a new life together, the three of them. The happy little family idea they had conjured up all that time ago. That was one thing ticked of the list anyway. Just the nice house and big garden to sort out. That was the plan. That was always the dream.

**Nice long chapter for you there, as promised xHope you are enjoying reading this FanFic as much as I am writing it !Please keep the reviews coming, it really means a lot ;) Sophie xx x xx**


	7. Just Like Your Mum

Zoe's hands shook as she held her phone, she had to keep her head firmly looking out of the window, trying to avoid eye contact with Nick not wanting any more tears to fall. That had become a regular occurrence, the crying and upset. Nick sensed the tension and resting his hand on her thigh. "Zo do you want me to call them?" He asked tentively. She instantly shook her head "no it has to be me who does it". She had to call Matts parents, he had to see Jasmine. Running a hand through her hair, she scrolled through her contacts and sighed as she found Anne. "What if she won't let me see Jasmine" She asked finally looking at nick. He look deep into her eyes that at that moment were sunken and lost from the recent sleepless nights. "Then we'll think of something else but Zoe please promise me you won't stress yourself out too much you should really be recovering from the crash" he said soothingly rubbing circles on her leg. "Nick she's my daughter of course I'm going to be a little stressed out" she replied raising her voice slightly "hey hey it's ok" he chuckled a little raising his hands as if to surrender. "I just don't want you to make yourself ill" "yeah well I'm a doctor I'll be fine" she shrugged turning her attention back to the phone sat on her lap. "Ok here it goes" she muttered to herself letting the phone ring. It rang a few times and Zoe half considered giving up but soon enough the frail voice of Anne was heard on the other line. Zoe sat up a little "hello" Anne said "Anne, it's Zoe" "Zoe, zoe" Anne repeated mulling over the name in her head before it fiablly clicked, her sons ex "Zoe as in Zoe Hanna?" "As in Zoe Hanna" Zoe replied slowly rubbing the back of her neck. "What do you want?" "I want to see my daughter Anne" "why now you've never been bothered before" this was hard for Zoe she had to admit to herself that she really had let down Jasmine "she came to see me the other day" "what!" "Jasmine came to find me at holby" "I'm sorry I can't I can't" Anne stuttered "Anne no don't go please please" Zoe begged the desperation clear in her voice. She was cut off. Zoe slammed her fist on her lap and kicked the car door. "Zo what happened, what did she say?" Nick asked pulling over. She ignored him her head facing forward and her eyes glazed over. He took her hands "Zoe Zoe" he said a little louder making her jump slightly "what did she say?" He asked again but slower and softer this time. "She didn't she put the phone down on me" She replied the hint of disappointment evident in her voice. "Well we're not giving up just yet" Nick said determined to keep Zoe happy. She nodded and glanced at the message that had just come through on her phone. Her face lit up slowly making nick smile, he loved the look of contentment and happiness on her face. "Oh my god she's given me their address" she said after a moment of silence. She turned to face Nick who was also now beaming "she's given me their address" she said again, still quite taken back that she had actually just been given permission to see her daughter again. "That's brilliant Zo" he smiled at her she kissed him quickly "hm what was that for?" He asked a cheeky grin playing at his lips. "That was me saying thank you for everything" she replied mirroring the smirk. "Is there another thank you somewhere?" He asked chuckling a little to himself "there might be it depends on how good you are" she whispered seductively both their eyes glittering. He pulled her in for another kiss "come here you" they kissed again, a lot deeper and meaningful and as usual they both got completely caught up in it they hardly noticed the outside world.

They pulled apart smiles still dancing on their lips. "I should be a good boy more often" he laughed. Zoe tilted her head slightly to admire the perfect man she had won back and wiped away the trace of her lipstick from his bottom lip. "That red suits you" she joked flashing him a cheeky wink. "Ah but not as much as it suits you" he smirked watching her intently as she applied her lipstick again in the mirror. She caught him staring at her "what?" She asked smiling. "Nothing nothing" he replied his eyes still fixed on her. "What is it Nick?" She seemed a little annoyed now "I just love seeing you smile I've missed it" he admitted. "And I've missed being this happy I love you, you know" she told him firmly "that's nice to know Doctor Hanna" he replied driving off again. She shook her head at him and raised her eyebrows. "Oh and I love you too especially when you pull that face, very sexy" he laughed kissing her cheek briefly.

After about half an hour of sarcastic comments, even more laughs and cute lines, Nick pulled up outside Anne and Daves house. He studied Zoe's facial expression as it soon melted from her radiant grin to a serious slightly worried face. He took her hand and held it tight "we're in this together" he told her and she nodded and they headed to the front door together.

Nick knocked on the door and a few moments later Jasmine came bounding down the stairs. She flung the door open to reveal a smug looking nick she simply rolled her eyes- a lot he was all to used to with Zoe. "What do you want" she spat looking directly at Zoe "your mum and I wanted to see you jasmine" he began but he was interrupted by her attempt of closing the door. Nick picked up on this and stick his foot in the way. "Can you move your foot please" she asked complete with a sarcastic smile. He kept perfectly still trying to hold back the laughter. Jasmine brought one leg forward and stamped hard in his foot with her heels. He winced "crap you're just like your mum you know, the obsession with killer heels clearly runs in the family" he tried to laugh but pulled a face at the pain in his foot. Zoe and Jasmine exchanged looks and both burst out laughing. This made Nick immensely happy, it might have only been a laugh but it was a precious moments between the two of them that he knew Zoe would certainly treasure forever. Anything that even triggered that beautiful smile on Zoe's perfect face, was good enough for him and seeing Zoe and Jasmine clearly so alike made him increasingly proud, it didn't matter that Jasmine wasn't his. He had met her once and already she felt like a part of him he had been missing for so long. Just like did. They all knew that no matter how much they could try to deny the chemistry between the three of them, they would undoubtably end up living happily ever after. Maybe not the typical happy ever after but their slightly compromised idea of it. Perfect.

**Sorry this isn't the best chapter in the world but before the story can get a little more exciting I have to set it all! Thank you to everyone who is following the story and your reviews and responses are amazing can't thank you enough xxx**


	8. I Love You Mummy

"You going to let us in then?" Nick asked cheekily. Jasmine giggled that little giggle that Zoe had fallen in love with the first time she ever heard it. She don't say anything, she simply opened the door fully and guided the pair of them through to the front room where Anne was sat flicking through the TV guide. She dropped the remote as she saw Zoe's face emerging from round the corner. "You came" she blinked "course I came" Zoe replied nervously. "It's lovely to see you after all these years" was the unexpected response and Zoe was quickly swept into a warm hug by the older woman. "Oh right it's lovely to see you too" She said slowly glancing over at Nick who simply winked at her. "How have you been?" Anne asked taking Zoe's coat "I've just come out of hospital after being hit by a car actually " she admitted and Anne winced "oh darling are you ok now though?" She asked seeming genuinely concerned. "Yeah I'm fine I've got Nick waiting on me hand and foot" she joked gesturing towards the hovering Nick. Anne hurried over to him "ah the the famous Nick Jordan" she smiled also taking his coat. Nick chuckled "that would be me yes" he said proudly. Zoe rolled her eyes at this. "Well it's nice to finally meet you you're good for Zoe " Anne stated leaving the room briefly to hang up the coats. "You're taking all this amazingly I'm proud" he whispered in Zoe's ear. She squeezed his Hand smiling. "Better than that son of mine ever was" Anne finished shaking her head. Nick faced quickly dropped at the mention of Matt. "Please sit down" Anne fussed showing them to the big leather suite.

"So would you like a drink?" Anne asked "a tea would be grand thank you" nick nodded still holding Zoe's hand. "And I'll have" Zoe began but Jasmine butted in "and mum will have a coffee milk two sugars" she grinned flipping down on the sofa beside Nick. Zoe laughed "how the hell did you remember that!" She chuckled "I never forget what's important to me" was the little response. Zoe sat back sinking into the sofa. Nick turned to Jasmine "so then Jaz how's school?" He asked trying to make small talk. "It's alright I guess I'm pretty into biology at the moment" Nick faces momentarily lit up. They had a lot more in common than they first thought. Their love for Zoe, their interest in science and their sharp and charming charisma. Soon enough, the two of them were totally engaged in their conversation. Anne placed the drinks down and settling down into her chair. "You alright there sweet?" She asked studying Zoe's facial expressions over her mug of coffee. "Yeah yeah I'm fine I just can't remember the last time I was here" she smiled looking around the carefully decorated and cleaned room. Something Nick would love. Anne smiled "well it must have been just after you an Matt split up" she said and Zoe noticed the frown as she mentioned her sons name. Zoe nodded slowly not particularly comfortable with the topic regarding her ex. "Anyway you and Nick seem perfect together" she commented and Nick caught onto the fact they were talking about him and perked up "you know me perfect in every way" he joked and Zoe playfully hit him on the arm before threading her fingers into his.

Perching on the edge of the elderly couples sofa, Zoe felt a wave of emotions wash over her as she glanced at the pictures of Jasmine from over the years that Zoe had missed. The one that particularly caught her eye was the one tucked towards the back of the mantle piece, as if it was purposely hidden away. It was taken around 14 years ago on Jasmines first proper holiday. Zoe was crouched down to her level her Dior shades balancing on her slightly longer perfectly highlighted hair. Jasmines arms were tightly wrapped around Zoe's neck and both of them were beaming, with the fresh tan making their already olive skin glow a little. They looked genuinely happy, how families should look. There wasn't any of the heartbreak and struggle that came just months later, visible on the picture. Anne caught her staring and followed her gazed to the silver framed holiday photo of the two of them. She slipped if from the side and into Zoe's hand. Zoe brushed Anne's hand as she did so as an appreciation gesture. She traced a finger over the glass and she could still picture the day clearly. The day Jasmine had first properly spoken. "I love you mummy". The words were still fresh in her head and at the thought of them, something hit her in the pit of her stomach. Butterfly's with killer heels, just like hers, seemed to be stamping around, making her feel a little light headed and overwhelmed by everything. Jasmine noticed the paleness of her mums face and how uncharacteristically quiet she was being. "Are you ok mum?" She asked appearing at Zoe's feet. Zoe couldn't find the words and swallowed hard. "I've just missed you so much" she whispered touching the girls soft cheek. Just at the touch of her, Zoe felt hugely proud and felt so much admiration towards her daughter. Instantly, Jasmines arms were flung around Zoe's neck, just the way they were all those years again on the beach in Chile. "Do you remember your first holiday?" Zoe asked stroking jasmines back. She felt her nod against her chest and she brought her face to Zoe's ear "I love you mummy".

**Hope you all enjoyed that chapter nice and cute ;) Please keep the reviews coming REALLY appreciate them All xxSophiexx**


	9. Don't Leave Me Again

"I love you too" Zoe whispered surprising herself as to just how much she meant it. Being with her daughter again after twelve long years made her really appreciate what was important to her, what she really needed. Nick and Jasmine. Everything else was just a luxury she was prepared to live without, as long as it meant she could keep hold of her family- their crazy interpretation of a family anyway.

The smile on Jasmines face soon broadened into a full on grin that matched her twinkling eyes perfectly. "I've missed that smile" Zoe admitted as they pulled away. "I've missed you" Jasmine quietly looking down, slightly embarrassed that she had missed a woman she hadn't seen for twelve years, so much it hurt. "Well I promise I'm not going anywhere" Zoe said simply throwing her a small wink that triggered that beautiful smirk to appear on Jasmine's face once more. "That's better" Zoe smiled kissing her cheek. Nick and Anne exchanged looks of pride and happiness at the moment between Zoe and Jasmine that they had just witnessed. Zoe gazed over to the two of them and caught Nicks eye "what?" She chuckled "nothing just you two are so gorgeous together" he said winking at her. "Well my mum is Zoe Hanna, I'm hardly going to be an ugly kid am I?" Jasmine laughed. "That's very true" Nick replied smiling. "And my sons not exactly the most handsome man in the world, so she's got to get her looks from somewhere hey". They all returned the laughter, but it was an awkward kind of laughter, at the mention of Matt. A subject none of them were exactly thrilled to talk about too much. "Well who would like another drink, another tea Nick?" Anne asked standing up "ah that would be lovely thanks Anne". Anne busied off to the kitchen leaving the three of them in comfortable conversation like they and been together forever.

A few hours later Zoe glanced at her watch. They had been there four hours. She stood up straightening out her dress. "Right I think we'd better be off" she said looking at Jasmine "no please don't leave" she begged gripping Zoe's arm "hey hey I'll be back I'm not leaving you for good" she said crouching down to Jasmine's level on the sofa. "That's what you said the day you left" she whispered tears threatening to fall down her delicate cheeks. Zoe looked desperately at Nick not sure what to do. He gave her a reassuring nod. "I know I let you down more than a mum should ever let down her daughter but I was young then and I know that's not an excuse, it will never be an excuse" she began but Jasmine silenced her "it's alright you don't have to explain yourself to me just please promise you won't walk out on me again, I don't think I could cope with that" she wiped the tears away and Zoe pulled her into a tight hug. "Come here" they stayed in that embrace for a few tender moments. Zoe kissed the top of Jasmines head "I love you, you know that don't you" she whispered and Jasmine nodded. "Could I um could I maybe hug Nick?" She alms led shyly feeling an urge to have Nick as part of her life. After all he made Zoe beyond happy and that was good enough for her. "Course you can" Nick chuckled beaming. As he held Jasmine. It actually scared him thinking of how alike she and Zoe really were. "Thank you" she said looking up to him "for what?" He asked "for being what my mum needs" Nick smiled and gazed over to where Zoe was standing looking as perfect as she always did with the look of pride and admiration he had never really seen on her before. He waved his hand to her and she wandered over he wrapped one arm around her waist and kept the other around Jasmines shoulder. Anne admired the three of them- a happy little family.

In that moment the front door clicked and a very familiar voice was heard "it's only me, I thought I'd surprise you!".Matt.

**Sorry this is SO short- my shortest chapter! Been so tied up with music and Latin exams this week :( please keep the reviews coming love them all so much xxx**


	10. Matt

Zoe stood frozen, she hadn't heard that voice in years and she really wasn't ready to see him again. The three of them pulled apart all apprehensive about seeing Matt again. Zoe took a deep breath as the creaking of the doors was heard. In he walked just like he owned the place, the way he always did. His eyes widened as he saw Zoe standing in his mums house with their daughter and her boyfriend. "Zoe" he spat she rolled her eyes in response, a little suprised with his voice, he was usually so calm and sweet. Well a lot can change in a person in twelve years. It wasn't even Zoe that left Matt, he walked out on her and Jasmine then swanned back onto the scene like superman when Zoe left. It irritated her just thinking about it. Matt in general irritated her. "Matt" she replied sarcastically placing a hand on her hip as a gesture that she wasn't going to back down no matter what kind of verbal abuse he threw her way. "What are you doing here" he asked shrugging off his coat. "I'm here to see my daughter Matt" Zoe rolled her eyes at him. "You lost the right to call her your daughter twelve years ago the day you walked out on her" he shouted stepping forward close up to her face "you walked out on us well before I did" she yelled back throwing her hands in the air "that doesn't change anything Zoe I came back for her because I actually gave a damn about our daughter" Zoe laughed "oh yeah you cared enough to leave her for London, she needed her dad" Matt rubbed his face getting more and more wound up "she needed her mum Zoe, she needed her mum" he quietened down a little rubbing his forehead. A little smile spread across Zoe's face, she had him exactly where she wanted, he had stopped yelling around and they could finally start to work out a way that meant they could both see Jasmine "what are you doing back?" Anne asked taking the opportunity to ask the question that had been on all their minds since they heard his voice. "I came to see my daughter but clearly I was beaten to it" he snarled a little flashing a dirty look Zoe and Nicks way. "Clearly" Zoe replied sarcastically actually quite enjoying rubbing it in Matts face that Jasmine wanted to see her. "How did you find Jaz" he asked ignoring her pervious comment "I didn't" Zoe said simply winking at Jasmine "she came to find me" she finished feeling pretty pleased with herself. Matt shot Jasmine a look of disbelief "you went to find her" he stuttered "she's my mum you can't really expect me to live my whole life without her" she raised her voice a little, Matt was shocked she had never shouted to him before. Taking a deep breath he nodded "ok so now you've met your mum you can see what a piece of work she is" he frowned Nick stepped in pushing Matt backwards "don't you dare say that about my Zoe" he said firmly not wanting to shout for Zoe and Jasmines sake. "Oh your Zoe?" He chuckled "how sweet you've fallen for her well let me tell you something mate she'll break your heart she always does" Nick cut him off "just shut up Matt you don't know the first thing about me and Zoe" he yelled "I know enough about Zoe thank you very much" Matt retaliated "no you don't ,you know what you want to know" Zoe replied "you never even tried to get to know me did you?" She said her voice a little saddened "oh and you were desperate to know all about me weren't you, you were still in love with this prat" he shouted again gesturing towards Nick. Nick clenched his fists "Nick don't, don't give him what he wants" Zoe whispered placing a hand on his arm. "You've got five minutes to say your goodbyes and get the hell out of here" He said through gritted teeth. "This is my mums house, it had absolutely nothing to do with you" Matt spat back. "No but I won't have you shouting around at Zoe and Jasmine like this" Nick replied calmly "it's a joke, you're all a joke" Matt laughed flopping down on the sofa. "So what you're going to stick around now are you pretend to care again!" Jasmine spoke up "I've always cared Jasmine you know that" Matt said quietly "no you haven't you have a go at mum for leaving my all the time but you forget you left me aswell" she yelled "it's alright Jaz you don't have have to do this" Zoe said stroking her arm "no I do I hate you dad I hate you" she screamed running up the stairs to her room and slamming the door. "Now see what you've done" Matt scolded Zoe "look what I've done, at least I'm trying to be a mum to her" she shouted back "don't you dare say that to me" he came close up to her face and saw the flicker of fear in her eyes "don't you dare slag me off to my daughter again". He shook his head and drew a breath between his teeth. "Shut up Zoe!" He yelled. "No Matt, get out of my life, you're no use to Jasmine, you never have been" she whispered actually really scared of him in that moment. That was it for Matt, he couldn't hold it back anymore. He brought his shaking hand up and slapped her straight on her left cheek. 


	11. Sorry Zo

"Get your filthy hands of her now" Nick bellowed and Matt backed away his hand still trembling. He had just hit the woman he was ready to marry all those years ago, he had hit the mother of his daughter. "Oh my God Zoe" was all he could whisper his hand flinging up to his ashamed face. Anne's face mirrored a very similar expression, ashamed that her son, her own flesh and blood, had just abused a woman. The woman that didn't have a single bad bone in her body. Nick suddenly switched on his 'Doctor Mode' which any other day would have made Zoe giggle. Just not that day, she didn't really see much to laugh about after been slapped. "I I need some space" she muttered fleeing the room. Nick tried to run after but his arm was quickly grabbed by Anne "no you're staying here with Matt and you're talking things through- no violence, for Zoe's sake" She warned and left the room as she saw the vague nods from both men. Anne sat Zoe down on the edge of the bath and ran a flannel under the cold tap and gently placed it on the tenderness of Zoe's cheek that was now a light crimson colour. "Sorry if I'm doing this wrong, I'm not doctor like you lot" Anne said softly, attempting to lighten the mood. The only response she received was a small trace of a laugh. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Anne still dabbing the wet flannel on Zoe's lightly swelling cheek. It was Anne that broke the silence "you've changed you know, years ago you would have hit him back twice as hard" Zoe smirked a little at the memory of the woman she was once upon a time. The party-animal, care free type of woman. "I grew up Anne" she replied simply. "I know you did, and I'm proud of you" Anne smiled at her granddaughters mum and she was genuinely proud of her. Zoe placed a hand on Anne's arm "thank you" she whispered. The creak of the floorboards was heard as Jasmine stepped towards the bathroom where her mum and grandma were sat. "You alright mum?" She asked after hearing everything. "I'm fine Jaz" Zoe said not wanting to dwell on it all too much, especially not to a fifteen year old. "That was out of order what he did, I'm sorry" Jasmine said quietly looking down at her feet. In one small motion, Zoe was stood in front of her and lifted Jasmines chin with one perfectly manicured hand "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, ok" She said firmly. Jasmine wrapped her arms tightly around Zoe's neck. Zoe breathed in the sweet scent of her Juicy Couture perfume and a warm smile engaged her face. The fruity, slightly nutty fragrance calming her. Kissing the top of Jasmines head, Zoe turned her own just a fraction to catch Anne's gaze. They both exchanged similar smiles that portrayed exactly what they both felt. Happiness. Real happiness. "So you and Zoe" Matt said slowly stretching his arms above his head as he lay flopped down on the sofa "what about us?" Nick asked pacing up and down the room, the irritation evident in his voice. Matt chuckled a little at this "she'll be fine you know, she's a tough cookie that one" he pointed out and Nick stopped his walk. "Matt you hit her, you didn't exactly knock her out" he sighed. "Yes I know but what I mean is if she's anything like the way she was, she'll come back down these stairs and slap me back". Both of them let a small laugh slip from their lips. "What was Zoe like when you were together?" Nick asked settling himself down on the arm chair where Anne had previously been sitting, opposite Matt. "Jasmine how would you like to spend some time with your mum, alone?" Anne asked finally, after studying the pair together for a while. The girls deep eyes widened in a beautiful look of delight. "Are you kidding?" She practically leapt at the older woman knocking her slightly off balance "woah" Anne giggled propping herself up. "Of course I'm not kidding you need to get to know your mum properly" She replied to Jasmine's earlier comment. "Besides we do have twelve years to catch up on" Zoe spoke up, her eyes also a little wider, filled with the same delight as her daughter. "Oh God I can't wait!" She exclaimed grinning away to herself. "Thank you" Zoe mouthed to Anne who simply shook her head smiling. "Right then is tomorrow alright?" Zoe asked running a hand through her silky bob. "Anytime's Zoe, any day you're more than welcome to see her" Anne explained. Gradually, Zoe's facial expression dropped. Anne knew exactly what was going through her head. "Matt will be fine with it, don't you worry about that" She assured Zoe, touching her arm lightly. "Well that's settled, anything you fancy doing?" Zoe asked turning to face the beaming face of her daughter. "Well could we just stay in at yours, I really want to talk to you and Nick, I like him, he's good for you" Jasmine stated and Zoe smirked at the last part. "Yeah he's a gooden" was her response. "Maybe a little too good for me" Zoe muttered half heartedly to herself, not intending anyone else to hear. "Hey hey Mum, Nicks lucky to have someone as perfect as you" Jasmine told her sternly. Zoe rolled her eyes "it should be me talking to you like that" she laughed hitting her slightly on the arm. "Well I'm telling you, Nick should be counting his lucky stars every morning he wakes up to your face" Jasmine continued. Zoe was a little taken back by that, she wasn't expecting anything like that. "Come here you little charmer" Zoe chuckled pulling Jaz into a tight hug. "I love you" they both whispered at the same time, completely in sync with one another, they way they always were. 


	12. Mrs Jordan?

Zoe sighed, running a hand through her slightly tousled bob, she flicked through the pages of the cookbook sat in front of her at the breakfast bar. She had no idea why they had so many cookbooks, Nick couldn't even rustle up beans on toast without charring most of it. Zoe wasn't much better either, the odd meal she attempted to 'cook' turned alright ok but on the whole takeaways and meals out were a lot safer for the both of them. The mug of once steaming coffee was getting colder by the second and the clock ticked steadily, the sounds gradually irritating her as she endeavoured to find the perfect meal to cook for Jasmine. Her hand absentmindedly fell onto a page that caught her eye. A simple seafood pasta dish, but it was the best she could manage at short notice. She padded over to the fridge and began pulling out anything that would taste moderately edible with the pasta. She didn't bother sticking to the recipe, she didn't see the point when it never turned out like the picture anyway. The all too familiar sound of Nicks annoyingly loud shoes was heard on the laminate floors and soon enough he sauntered into the kitchen. "Hm smells beautiful" she mused taking in the slightly spicy smell. He placed his hands on Zoe's hips and she spun around "you really think so?" She asked "I think it smells disgusting" she sighed. Nick chuckled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear "I really do but not as beautiful as you" he whispered she grinned and reached up on her tip toes and kissed him soundly. He lifted her up and placed her down on the kitchen work top his lips not once leaving hers. "Hm I love you Zoe Hanna" he mumbled between kisses. "I love you too Me Jordan" she replied pulling away "as perfect as this is I really need to carry on cooking this" She said kissing him quickly. As she slid of the counter she noticed the bulge in his trousers and smirked to herself- she certainly hadn't lost her touch. She reached up to his ear and whispered "I think somebody needs a cold shower" he shook his head and tickled her waist. She squealed "you're such a tease you know Doctor Hanna" he laughed heading over to the bathroom "what can I say?" She giggled continuing to stir the sauce. "Don't be too long, Jaz will be here in about twenty minutes" she called through "ah that will give you plenty of time to burn it all then" he chuckled. "Cheeky" she shouted back to him shaking her head, a broad smile dancing at her lips. About fifteen minutes later, Nick was out of the shower and buttoning up his shirt. "Wow Zo you look gorgeous" he winked at her "make yourself useful, soppy, and set the table" he simply squeezed her bum "as you wish madam" he said in a posh butler-style voice. She rolled her eyes trying to keep the laughter in as she watched him prancing around the dining table with a cloth over his arm. "You're such a kid you know" she smiled standing back from the pan and leaning against the work surface. "And is there anything wrong with kids?" He grinned "of course not" she replied smirking "good because that will be your kid at the door" he winked as the doorbell rang. "Oh you're so clever" she said flashing him a sarcastic smile which he in true Zoe and Nick style he returned. "Voila" Zoe announced placing the dishes down on the table. "Wow mum this looks amazing" Jasmine beamed. Nick winked at Zoe and squeezed her arm as she sat down. "Well it better be I've been salving away for hours" she joked. "Hm Zo how did you learn to cook like this" Nick asked with a mouthful of food. Zoe pretended to look offended "hidden talents Mr Jordan" whispered "oh you have a lot of those" he replied aiming smugly. Jasmine dropped her fork "ugh you two I'm trying to eat here there's no need for a slush fest" she laughed and both Zoe and Nick joined in with the laughter. The three of then were flopped out on the leather sofa with a fluffy blanket draped over them. "Right who fancies ice cream?" Nick asked jumping up and heading over to the kitchen "chocolate if you've got it please" Jasmine asked "of course we've got chocolate it's all your mum will eat" he chuckled. Zoe tipped her head over the back of the sofa and raised her eyebrows. He kissed her lips lightly "but that's exactly how I love you" he smiled "that's better" she smiled back to him and curling her legs up so she face facing Jasmine. "So Jaz any boys on the scene hey?" She asked grinning. Jasmine smirked a little and Zoe nudged her "spill, I want every single detail" Jasmine rolled her eyes "well he's called Lucas, he's sweet, funny treats me like a flipping princess all the time" she laughed. Zoe beamed "you are a princess, you're my princess" she said and the two of them shared yet another precious moment that they would never forgot. "And he tells me he loves me" Jasmine finished with a huge grin playing at her lips "he's a keeper then" Zoe said winking at her "you think?" "Oh I know, trust me I've had my fair share of men, I know what I'm talking about" Zoe laughed "well you've done well finding Nick, he's perfect for you". Nick had watched everything and was ridiculously proud of Zoe "she's perfect for me" He butted in settling back down on the sofa and handing a bowl to Jasmine "ah you're a star" she grinned tucking into her ice cream. "Glad to hear it" Nick flashed her one of his signature winks. He moved Zoe's bowl towards her but pulled it back just as she was about to take it. "Ah ah where's your manners Mrs Jordan" he joked raising his eyebrows trying to keep up his Mr Jordan exterior "please" she replied innocently batting her eyelashes "very good" he said handing the ice cream over. "Thank you Mr Jordan" she replied sarcastically. "Pleasure" he said returning the sarcastic smile. "Wait Nick did you just say Mrs Jordan" Jasmine grinned realising what he had just said. Zoe turned to face him smirking. He was now blushing "sorry Zo I know we've only just got back together but I love you more than anything, I really do and I know I don't always show that enough but I don't know where I'd be without you" he waffled on Zoe interrupted him with a passionate kiss. He pulled apart with one eyebrow raised "was that a yes then?" He asked nervously "well you never actually asked me the question" Zoe smirked "you always were a hard one to please" he laughed. He lowered himself down onto one knee his legs shaking. He drew in a deep breath and took Zoe's hands "Zoe Hanna" he began looking deep into her dreamy eyes "will you do me the biggest honour of becoming my wife?" He asked nervously. She shook her head and pulled him up onto the sofa with on perfectly manicured hand "of course I will you romantic old goon" she laughed kissing him deeply. "Less of the old please Mrs Jordan" he said stroking her cheek "oh get a room you too" Jasmine laughed. Nick hit her playfully on the arm "guessing you'll be your mums bridesmaid?" He asked smiling she flung her arms around Nick "thank you" she said into his shoulder. They were the perfect little family then, Zoe, Nick and Jasmine. 


	13. The Perfect Morning

Zoe woke up in Nicks arms, the way she had done since they moved back into together, since the car accident. Where she was happiest. Where she could just relax and let her guard down that was kept firmly up for the rest of the world. There was no point in trying to pretend she was alright when she wasn't with Nick- he knew her inside out. He knew every last detail that she tried desperately to keep locked in.

She released her arm from underneath the duvet and stretched it out, tilting her head slightly to picture the engagement ring that would soon be sitting in pride place on her ring finger. A smile emerged on her face as she worked every last detail of her wedding day out. Right down to the table arrangements and the table cloths. She must have been in her own little world for over half an hour. The tightening of Nicks grip around her waist and the gentle kiss being pressed to her neck brought her out of the trance. "Hm morning sunshine" she chuckled a little at Nicks scrunched up face. After the champagne the previous night he was a little hungover to say the least! "Morning Mrs Jordan" he replied rubbing his throbbing head. "How's that hangover of yours?" She asked smirking "I'm staying off the alcohol for good I'll put it that way" he laughed a little "oh please you'll be absolutely hammered on your stag night" she raised a perfect eyebrow "I'd rather just stay in with you anyway" he admitted snuggling closer to her and nuzzling against her shoulder. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint but I plan on getting completely wasted on my hen do" she winked at him "oh why doesn't that surprise me" he chuckled. "Oi cheeky" she joked hitting him playfully on the arm. He tickled her lightly at first but a lot more intensely when he heard her squeal. He knew how much se hated being tickled- it was her weak point. And he was an expert at playing it out.

They were curled up still on the bed, the sheets tangled up around them and a plate of toast balancing on Nicks knee. He picked up a slice and fed it to Zoe. She munched it happily and just as she was about to take the last bite, he snatched it away holding it above his head. "Uh uh mrs Jordan you'll have to fight me for it" he challenged her, a cheeky grin playing at his lips. "Oh really?" She asked raising her eyebrows "oh yes" was his firm answer. She sat herself up on her knees and reached up to grab the toast. Nicks arms were quickly around her waist and they both fell down onto the bed in a fit of laughter, arms wrapped around each other. Nick placed a deep, passionate kiss on her lips triggering that gorgeous smile of hers to appear. The smile that had enticed him all those years ago in his office, the night of their first kiss. She returned the tender kiss and slipped her arms around his neck. "I still want that toast, you know" she whispered "anything for you" he whispered back kissing her briefly before laying her gently down on the sheets and disappearing to the kitchen just in his boxers making Zoe grin at the sight he left her with.

"I could stay like this forever" Zoe mused as she lay wrapped up in Nicks loving arms, savouring the protection and warmth she got from Nicks grip. "Hm you and me both, but unfortunately the Ed doesn't run itself" he pointed out stroking her soft cheek. "That bloody Ed is all you ever think about" she rolled her eyes "hey that's not true, I barley have time to think about the Ed when you're always on my mind" he said "you're such a big softie you know Mr Jordan, anyone ever tell you that" she smiled tracing the perfect shape of his face with one hand "only you" he replied softly Zoe smiled "good so that makes you my soppy fiancé then" she said triumphantly "I love that- Fiancé it sounds so official" he tapped her nose "oh trust me Mr Jordan, this is very very official" she said slowly and seductively, knowing exactly what it did to him.

Nick was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, a mug of steaming coffee clutched in his hand and a local newspaper laid out on the surface top. Zoe emerged from their bedroom looking as beautiful as she always did. It still fascinated him that she could become even more stunning than she already was. She walked towards him, a pair of Louboutins in one hand and her phone in the other. "Oh is that coffee I smell" she said taking the mug from his hand and taking a huge gulp. "Hm that's better" she nodded slipping her heels on, making that little bit taller stood next to Nick. "You look beyond gorgeous Zo" he said placing his hands on her hips and holding her in place between his thighs "and you're beyond charming, trying to get in my good books are we?" She smirked playing with his tie. "Oh I should think I'm already in your good books after this morning" he chuckled tucking a strand of her glossy hair behind her ear. Zoe smiled at the memory of the earlier morning. "You're very sure of yourself aren't you Mr Jordan" she whispered "you wouldn't have me any other way" he added kissing her soundly "of course I wouldn't, you're my Mr Jordan, nobody's going to change that" she said firmly "come here you" Nick pulled her towards him and kissed her lips with more passion and longing. "And you're my Zoe Hanna" he mumbled between kisses "Zoe Jordan" she corrected him grinning "God I love you" he shook his head kissing her again with even more fire and love.

**Hope you all enjoyed this- felt like some cuteness was needed and I like how this turned out! Thank you for your lovely reviews and the personal messages I get really make me smile xxx**


	14. Shut You Up With Kisses

Zoe let a deep sigh escape her lips as she flung open the door to Nicks office. Nick of course knew exactly who it was without even looking up. The only person who could ever get away without knocking, the only person who would wear killer heels to work every single say in an Ed, and the only person who could make his heart stop just by the soft click of her heels on the corridor. Zoe.

"What's happened Zo?" He asked dropping his pen and finally looking up to her face. It was sunken and a little lost. Her deep brown eyes had lost their sparkle and her beautiful olive skin was a lot paler than usual. "Why do think anythings happened?" She asked moodily flopping down on his sofa. Nick spun his chair around to face her "come on, you're not laughing, you're not smiling, you're not being sarcastic and you're not even carrying a coffee" he joked trying to trigger that beautiful smirk of Zoe's. It didn't show. She simply shrugged and let her head fall forward slightly and her hair create a sort of barrier. "I had a patient today" she began slowly "well that tends to happen in a hospital" Nick smiled attempting to lighten the mood but the look he received from Zoe was enough to shut him up "I'm sorry" he mumbled. She simply reached out her arm and held his hand. "It's fine" she reassured squeezing his hand "go on then tell me what's wrong, I want to help Zo" he said stroking the back of her hand "well I had this patient and her fiancé left her after he found out she had a son" she finished. "And you thought I'm going to leave you because you have a daughter?" Nick laughed a little to himself "it's not funny Nick" she snapped pulling her hand away and pushing herself up off the sofa. Nick grabbed her hand "look Nick I know you don't think I take anything seriously and this whole situation is a joke to me but it's not I have a heart you know, Nick, I have a heart" she yelled. He stood up to join her and kissed her fully on the lips, shutting her up in the best way he knew how. "I hate when you do that" she giggled a little "I know, that's why I did it" he tapped her nose. She felt stupid admitting to him that he made her insides feel like jelly whenever he shut her up with unexpected kisses. 'Get a grip Zoe you're engaged' she laughed to herself.

In one swift move, Zoe had Nick by his tie and on the sofa. They both chuckled as they fell together, arms and legs tangled up in each other. "You do know I'm never going to leave you don't you?" Nick asked in all seriousness when the laughter had died down. Zoe looked up to his soft eyes and nodded "I know" she said simply "so why did you get so angry about the patient" he asked stroking her face and brushing the stray strands of hair out of her eyes "because there's always a chance that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm not what's going to make you happy when this thing comes back" she admitted tracing the scar on his head from the operation. He took her hand and kissed it "you'll always make me happy no matter what, I don't care how much you annoy the absolute hell out me, I love you Mrs Jordan" he told her "has anyone ever told you how romantic you really are , hey Mr Jordan" she winked at him "me, romantic?!" He laughed and she shook her head "yes you, you are very very romantic" she smiled kissing him softly.

The knock of the door was heard and Zoe half expected Nick to pull away from her or move away from the sofa, but he stayed completely still, his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on hers. "Come in" he called- automatically switched on his 'Mr Jordan' voice making Zoe giggle. He hit her playfully on the arm. Zoe buried her head in Nicks chest and unbuttoned a little bit of his shirt without him noticing. Tess walked in and leant against the door frame admiring the two of them who were made for each other. "Alright Tess" Nick asked sitting up a little straighter in his chair without dropping Zoe. "I'm alright thanks Mr Jordan, I was just checking if I could have the new nurses rota please" she asked. "Of course" Nick replied standing up and detangling himself from Zoe. He searched around his desk, his front facing Tess. She tried desperately to hold back the laughter. Zoe caught her eye and smirked a little. "Ah here you go" Nick said triumphantly handing over the file to Tess. He caught on to the laughter from the women and raised his eyebrows at Zoe "what?" He questioned. Zoe gestured to his open shirt smiling smugly to herself. "Oh I could kill you Mrs Jordan" he replied raising his eyebrows and pulling her towards him,fighting back the laughter himself. "Oh please save it until later" Tess cringed laughing. "Sorry Tess can't keep my hands off her these days" he chuckled. Zoe stepped away from him "Nick!" She choked, surprised with his response, it was so out of character. "I'm so sorry about him Tess" Zoe smiled shaking her head- still quite taken back with what Nick had said in front of one of his staff. "Um ok thanks Mr Jordan" Tess giggled leaving the office, embarrassed.

"Honestly Nick you'll get me into trouble one of these days" she laughed buttoning his shirt back up "oh who's the boss Doctor Hanna" he winked at her. He saw the twinkle in her eyes- he knew he had her there. He knew that her heart fluttered whenever he acted professionally around her and he knew that he could make her do anything with a simple 'killer' wink. She reached up onto her tip toes and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Hm that's better" he hummed as they pulled apart. Zoe wiped the trace of her lipstick from his lips and straightened his shirt out. "Come on Mr Jordan I fancy a very expensive dinner" she stated slipping on her coat. "Sounds perfect" he agreed taking her hand and leading her towards the door "oh and I might have a little treat for you later" she whispered as he turned the lock "oh you've definitely got my attention now" he chuckled lifting her up and twirling her around like a princess. She was a princess. His princess- soon to be his queen.

**Hope you enjoy this. I don't exactly love how this turned out but I wanted to update for you all! Thank you for the lovely reviews and messages-please keep them coming xxxx**


	15. The Ring

"You know you still haven't got a ring on my finger" Zoe pointed out as they sat opposite each other sipping a glass of Dal Forno, Valpoilcella each in their favourite intimate wine bar in Holby. It had to be expensive, of course, it was Zoe. "Oh yeah I must have forgotten" Nick smirked over the rim of his wine glass. "What are you up to?" She questioned suspiciously "what makes you think I'm up to anything" he teased her raising his eyebrows playfully. "You're smirking, you only ever smirk when you're up to something" she stated placing her glass down and leaning back into her chair slightly. "Oh you think you've got everything sussed out don't you Doctor Hanna" he chuckled turning his head ever so slightly and nodded at a waiter who was hovering around the table without Zoe even realising. Before Zoe could reply the waiter was by her side with a bucket of champagne. "Ohh thank you" she grinned taking the bottle out before the waiter could. Nick laughed towards the man "sorry about this one- she's never seen champagne before" he joked and received a trademark sarcastic smile from Zoe.

"Oh what's this?" She smirked as a round metal object fell into her glass as she poured the champagne from the bottle. She glanced up to Nick who was beaming, clearly pleased with himself. "Why don't you have a look" he smiled "you want me to fish around in my alcohol for you?" She smirked pulling out the ring. "Oh Nick" she gasped. Nick watched as her eyes welled up and her gorgeous smile lit up her face. Inside the gold Tiffany band with a huge diamond in pride place on the centre, were the very same words as the bracelet Nick had given her after the car accident.

In one swift movement, he was beside her on one knee. "Well I must have done some thing right to keep you speechless" he chuckled a little, tears of happiness now streaming down both of their cheeks. He took the ring from her hand and held her left hand. He kissed her soft skin lightly and slipped the ring onto her finger. Zoe grabbed Nicks chin and kissed him wildly her hands toying with the hair on the back of his neck. She loved the feeling of his short hair against her fingertips. It amazed her that she could miss minor things like that when they were apart. "Blimey, I think I ought to buy you jewellery more often if that's the kind of response I get" he laughed as they pulled apart. "Shut up you mad man and kiss me again" she ordered. Nick needed no more telling, he pulled her in for another passionate kiss, this one a little slower and romantic- the way they always were. The type of kiss that only Zoe could give and the type of kiss that could mess up all his emotions instantly. He guessed that was because of the perfect woman giving them.

His hands were tangled up in the silky bob that was perfectly groomed just like it was every day. That was one thing he admired so much about Zoe, her pride in her appearance. As they finally pulled away from each other, the whole room erupted into cheers and clapping. Zoe blushed. The fact that there were at least another fifty people in the wine bar that night, had completely slipped her mind. That was understandable, they both found themselves in their own world where only the two of them existed whenever they kissed.

"Nick everyone's staring at us" she whispered, embarrassed. "Hey it's not like you to refuse public attention" he joked stroking her cheek gently. Zoe nudged his arm "cheeky" she laughed. "I just don't like the idea of everyone joining in on our special moment" she admitted tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Well then we can always continue these celebrations at home, away from all these eyes can't we" Nick winked at her taking her hand and leading her towards the door. "Oh we can can we" she grinned enjoying the idea of spending some quality time with her fiancé. "Hey what about the bill" Zoe pointed out as they reached the doors. "Ah that's all covered, everyone knows Nick Jordan" he kissed her cheek quickly. "You amaze me" she rolled her eyes at his comment. "Oh I know I do" he said a smug grin plastered to his face "don't get too full of yourself now Mr Jordan, you haven't got me married just yet" "oh trust me I'm not waiting long to get you down that isle".

**Only just realised how long it's actually been since I last updated! Sorry, had 5 language exams, my birthday, physio sessions and a family death these last couple of weeks. That sounded really depressing and I know I don't have to explain myself but I wanted to. Thank you for the LOVELY reviews and messages, please keep them coming xxxxxxx**


	16. Are You Ok?

"Morning sleeping beauty" Nick smiled as his fiancé emerged from their bedroom with her silk dressing gown draped over her perfect body in a way that always sent Nick crazy. "Hm morning" she mumbled keeping her gaze away from Nick. He frowned slightly, the lack of a sarcastic comment or laugh worrying him a little. "Do you feel alright?" He asked placing the back of his hand on her forehead. "I'm fine stop fussing" she snapped brushing his hand away. They stood in the kitchen awkwardly for a few moments, an uncomfortable silence hanging over them. It was Zoe who eventually broke it. "Look I'm sorry for snapping like that" she apologised looking up at Nick who's face was etched with concern. He pulled her into a tight hug. "You don't have to apologise for anything" he whispered into her hair kissing the top of her head and lingering in the embrace for as long as he could.

"I'm just going for a lie down" Zoe said softly kissing Nick briefly. She noticed the frown playing at his lips "what now?" She asked, irritated. Nick was still amazed at how quickly her mood could change and how quickly it could affect the whole atmosphere. "I want to take you down to the ed, just to get you check-" he began before he was cut of by Zoe throwing her hands in the air. "There is no way you are taking me to the ed just because I don't feel one hundred percent ok?!" She pushed past Nick and stormed off to the lounge. "Oh no I'm fine thanks Nick, just a little bug but I'm sure I'll be fine in a while" he replied sarcastically to himself running a hand over his stubble. There was something really wrong with Zoe but he had no idea how to get it out of her.

"Here I got you a coffee" Nick said softly padding over to the sofa where Zoe was laid out looking far from relaxed. She barely heard Nick. "Zoe" he said a little louder causing her to jump slightly. "Wh- what?" She asked, clearly a lot more alerted now. " I got you a coffee" Nick said slowly. "Hm thanks I could do with a coffee" she smiled shuffling over to make space for Nick. He climbed onto the sofa and curled up to her side and kissed the skin of her shoulder that her loose dressing gown revealed. "I love you Mrs Jordan" he announced, running his fingertips over her shoulder and followed the trail with kisses. "You too" she muttered, trying out a weak smile. Nick knew there was definitely something wrong, she would always reply with 'I love you too Mr Jordan'.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Nick asked as he studied her anxious facial expression. He rarely ever saw that look on Zoe. She was always so carefree- she never let anyone or anything bring her down. "For gods sake Nick I'm fine ok!" She raked a hand through her hair letting out a deep sigh. "Is it something I've done?" Nick asked sitting up a little straighter "not everything's about you!" She yelled back jumping of the sofa. "Well then what's up?" Nick asked exasperated. When he didn't get a response from Zoe he threw himself of the sofa and clenched his fists making his way to the door. He didn't know why he was getting so wound up but he wanted to help Zoe. The only problem was she hated talking about her problems and old habits for hard. "I I found a lump this morning" she eventually admitted, letting her hair fall down around her face that was as pale as ever and sketched with lines of worry. "A lump?" He repeated in a whisper, a lump now forming in his own throat. "Yes a lump- when I was in the shower" Zoe said quietly a stream of salty tears running down her cheeks. "What do you mean?" Nick asked letting his hands drop to his sides and his heartbeat speed up dramatically. He could feel it hammering through his chest and the room began to blend into one fuzzy image. He knew exactly what the lump meant, of course but he wanted desperately for it to be some sort of mistake. "I think I've got breast cancer, Nick"

Sorry this short! Will our favourite couple cope with this shock or will they crumble? Please review and let me know what you think xxx


	17. Scared

"I think I've got breast cancer" she repeated, a whisper this time, barely audible. The words came through clear enough to Nick however, it sounded like they were being screamed at him and they had no intention of quietening down. He did the only thing he knew and embraced in a tight hug, keeping her close. "I've got cancer" Zoe screamed, beating her fists against Nicks chest, battling against the streaming tears and shaking her head in an attempt to rid of the tormenting voices in her head. The voices that told her that she would die, that it was her own fault for always being so selfish, karma. "Hey, hey, hey" Nick whispered stroking her hair, calming her a little. The tears didn't stop though, in fact they worsened and they seemed to be infectious as in no time at all, Nick too had wet trails streaked across his face. "Sh sh, we don't know you have it for definite do we?" He soothed, rubbing circles in her silky hair, he didn't know weather the words were an attempt to reassure himself more than Zoe.

"I know you're scared, 'cause I sure know I am" he uttered, wiping away the tears on Zoe's delicate cheeks. "I'm not scared" Zoe started drawing in a big breath "I'm petrified" she admitted rubbing her forehead and felt the dry skin, she guessed from the stress of the whole cancer situation. "God I need a facial" she muttered leaving the lounge to find her phone. Nick followed close behind her "Zoe you need to go to an oncologist appointment not the spa" he almost begged her, taking hold of her hand and kissing it softly. "Nick please, I just need to take my mind off things for a while" she nodded smiling. It was good to see her beautiful smile even when she was battling against herself like this. "Course you do, why don't you book a weekend we can go together" he offered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and tracing her jawline with one hand. "I'd like that" she said quietly dialling the number for Ardencote Manor.

"You're handling this amazingly well, I'm so proud" Nick admired as they lay curled up together on the bed, The Notebook playing on the TV, not that they were paying much attention to it. They both were wrapped up in much deeper thoughts than the film. "Well I don't know exactly what I'm dealing with" she said tracing patterns on Nicks bare chest. "What we're dealing with" Nick corrected her, tapping her lightly on the nose making her squeal a little. Everything seemed almost happy until reality sank back in and Zoe remembered what was happening. "We're in this together" Nick said entwining his fingers in hers. "Forever and always" Zoe finished, recalling the words Nick had spoken so many years ago when they found out about Nicks cancer. "That's my girl" nick smiled, kissing Zoe's forehead. Zoe suddenly sat up like she had been scolded. "Oh my god I need to tell Jasmine!" She remembered, panicking now about how she was going to tell her daughter that her mum could have cancer. Nick took hold of both her hands "hey, we'll book an appointment at Saint James', away from the ed lot, ok and we'll find out exactly what's going on and then we can tell Jaz, together" he told her firmly. "Why do you always know exactly what to say" Zoe mused, settling down on his chest and mirroring his breathing. "Years of practise" was her response.

"Do you think we'll ever end up like that?" Nick asked, gesturing to the elderly Allie and Noah on the TV screen. "What, old and wrinkly?" Zoe asked making Nick chuckle slightly "no I meant old and romantic" he said stroking Zoe's hair. "You're already old and romantic Mr Jordan" she smiled. Nick hit her arm playfully "we'll have less of the old now" he warned jokily. The look of happiness and contentment had soon faded from his fiancé's face and was replaced with another trembling look. "Hey what's upset you?" Nick asked softly propping himself up to look at her properly. "I'm just sacred I won't make it to 'old', that I'll die soon and that I'll have to leave you behind" She whispered, only then completely facing up to the truth. She was frightened beyond words.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I liked Zoe and Nick to be all loved up and romantic but I do have some twists planned that will shake things up a bit;) Also, I'm guessing that unless you live in the West Midlands, you won't have heard of the Ardencote Manor but thats the spa and country club my mum used to own- very random but hey! ;) Please keep reading and reviewing I really appreciate every single comment! xx**


	18. Telling Jasmine Part 1

"It's just me" Nick called through to the kitchen as he entered the house. It wasn't the words that Zoe heard, it was simply the click of the door and the similar sound of Nicks annoyingly loud shoes against the laminate floors.

"Hey baby" he breathed as he padded into the kitchen where Zoe was sat at the breakfast bar, the surface covered in the leaflets and booklets they had been given from the oncologist appointment.

"Hey" Zoe murmured. The sound was drowned out almost completely by the sound of Nicks shoes as he walked towards her.

"How was today?" He asked, massaging Zoe's shoulders, it always calmed her. He knew it was having the same affect as usual as her head tipped back ever so slightly and the trace of a smile formed on her soft lips.

"I'm not dying just yet if that's what you mean, I reckon I've got a little more time until you can be free of me" she shrugged, smiling weakly.

"Don't you ever say that again" Nick scolded in a gentle way, the way only Nick could. He was crouched beside her and lifted her chin up to look him straight in the eyes. She felt herself melt inside as she saw the pain in Nicks eyes, it was hitting them both a lot harder they had first anticipated.

"I'm sorry" she muttered helplessly, bringing her hand up to Nicks face and stroking his stubble with her thumb. She loved the manly feel of his stubble against her fingers. She always had.

"And don't you ever apologise for any of this again, ok" he warned, covering her hand with his and winking, triggering her playful smirk that was a very rare occurrence that Nick savoured these days.

"Oh I'm getting old" Nick chuckled rising from his crouching position and rubbing his back, a look of discomfort clear on his perfectly shaped face.

"Come on I'll give you one of my famous massages" Zoe tutted at him, standing up from the chair and leading him through to their bedroom.

"Zo I'm fine, I should be giving you one" he stroked her hair tentatively.

"That was not a question Mr Jordan, you are having a massage whether you like it or not" she said firmly, trying to keep the smile from appearing on her face.

"Well I can't say no to that face can I?" Nick laughed, taking her hand and almost racing to the bedroom.

"Oh and Nick, you know I hate sympathy" she raised her eyebrows at him cheekily before she was grabbed at the waist and fell to the bed with Nick laughing giddily. It felt so good to laugh.

Zoe was laid out on the sofa, with a mug of coffee clutched in her hand and a photo album she had found recently that she had first bought when Jasmine was only a baby. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she acknowledged the fact that the pictures went from the wide-eyed, good as gold baby that fascinated Zoe on a daily basis, to the cheeky, mini-Zoe three year old. Then there was the gap, a gap that lasted twelve years, twelve very long years. Zoe still hated the fact that even though Jasmine was now a permanent part of her life, she had let her down in ways that in her eyes were unforgivable. She thought herself undoubtably lucky that her daughter had grown up into a forgiving young woman.

"What's this?" Nick asked happily as he strolled into the room with the same cheerful manner that he always has when Zoe was concerned. Zoe wiped the tear away quickly and coughed slightly to rid the edge of the croak in her throat after her previous trip down memory lane.

"Jasmines photo album" she offered the book up to Nick who chuckled a little at the cheesy shots of Jasmine and Zoe, still memorised at the resemblance of the two of them.

"I'll get that" Nick smiled, as the sound of the doorbell interrupted them. He handed the album back to Zoe and sauntered off to the front door, making Zoe giggle her infectious giggle.

"Oh talk of the devil" Nick called through to Zoe, winking at Jasmine on their doorstep. He was met with the same sarcastic-raised-eyebrowed look that he was all to familiar with.

"Talking about me ey?" The young girl smiled giving Nick a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Oh we were just looking through your photo album" he explained as they walked into the lounge.

"Hiya darling" Zoe beamed sitting up and hugging her daughter tightly.

"You alright mum?" Jasmine asked making herself comfortable on the sofa beside Zoe and resting her chin on her shoulder to see the pictures of her when she was little.

"It's nice of you just to drop in like this, are you staying for dinner?" Zoe asked as she turned the page of the album to reveal the mischievous grin of three three year old Jasmine.

"Oh sure if that's alright, and Nick asked me to come over apparently you've got some news for me" she smirked. Zoe knew exactly what she was thinking. Her daughter thought she was pregnant again.

"Oh did he really?" Zoe asked raising her eyebrows at Nick, clearly annoyed, she really wasn't ready to tell her daughter that she had cancer. Not yet anyway. She had barely come to terms with it herself, the last thing she needed was to have to explain it to someone else.

"It will be fine Zo" Nick whispered, simply nodding towards her and clutching her hand. He kissed it as Zoe drew in a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do.

"Right hunny, this isn't going to be easy for me to say" Zoe began looking straight at Jasmine who's smile had already dropped and had been replaced with a concerned frown.

**I know a lot of you really liked Jasmine's character when I first introduced her into the story and I haven't written about her in a long time, so here you go ;) She will be featured a lot heavier in future chapters with the twists that are ahead. The real explanation to Jasmine will be next chapter! Not sure when you will be reading this because I left this chapter with this very lengthy note for my best friend to post as I am in New York! Thankyou for all the lovely reviews and messages please keep them coming xxxxxxx**


	19. Telling Jasmine Part 2- The Truth

Zoe flashed an anxious look of uncertainty up to Nick who returned a reassuring nod, promoting her to tell Jasmine the truth. "Ok, Jaz, I-um- I'm ill, really ill actually" Zoe informed slowly, studying her daughters face, as her forehead creased and as she bit her lower lip, clearly trying to hold back any tears that had the potential to fall and trigger tears from Zoe or Nick too.

"What do you mean, really ill?" Jasmine asked, fearing the worst. She closed her eyes, momentarily, letting the wave of panic that was building up, take it's toll.

"Cancer sweetie" Zoe whispered, the words clinging in the air as they fell from her lips.

"Cancer?" Jasmine asked, no other words finding their place.

"Yeah, cancer" Zoe smiled sadly, placing her shaking hand on her daughters knee.

"It'll be alright, mum, tell her Nick" Jasmine pleaded, looking directly at her mums fiancé who she had grown a tight bond with. Her eyes were glazed over and her shaking hands mirrored Zoe's.

"Jaz, you know I can't promise things like that" He replied, shaking his head and letting a small tear fall.

"I can't loose you, not again" Jasmine sobbed, clinging onto the cushion she was cradling close to her chest.

"You're not going to loose me- not just yet" Zoe sighed, the last four words a lot slower. Her trembling hand reached out to her daughters head and stroked her silky hair.

"And that makes it any easier does it? Knowing that I have a little longer with you before you- before you die!" Jasmine wept, shocking Zoe with her words. Deep down she knew they were true, but they stung in reality.

"I'm sorry" Zoe sighed deeply, running out of the room.

"Zoe!" Nick called out after his fiancé, taking a hand through his hair.

"I didn't mean that" Jasmine said quietly, her head appearing from behind the cushion.

"Hey, it's ok darling, I know you didn't" Nick soothed, taking Zoe's place on the sofa beside Jasmine. His arms were swiftly around her shoulders keeping her from shaking uncontrollably.

"Please don't be so nice to me" Jasmine begged. She hated pity, another thing she and Zoe had in common.

"Why can't I be nice to you?" Nick chuckled moving away from Jasmine to look in her eyes.

"I don't deserve it, I told a woman who has cancer that she doesn't have long before she dies" She nodded slowly.

"And you think your mums going to care about one little comment" Nick snorted slightly, rubbing Jasmines shoulders.

"Hey?" Jasmine asked, confused as to why Nick was taking it all so lightly.

"Come on, she's as tough as old boots that one, she'll take this on the chin like she does with everything else" he smiled, admiring the tough interior of his soon to be wife.

"Maybe, but it doesn't make it any better" Jasmine admitted, hugging Nicks side. She breathed in the scent of the older man, the way her mum always did when she was scared.

"I'm glad somebody's being honest about this whole thing, I get told I'll be ok by everyone else" a voice came from the doorway. Nick and Jasmine both turned to face it, to see Zoe leant against the doorframe with a smile painted across her lips.

"Come here you" Nick gestured towards his lap, mirroring the smile on his fiancé's face. Zoe padded across the cream carpet and perched on Nicks knee, nuzzling into his side and keeping her head facing her daughter.

"Come and join us sweetheart" Zoe winked at Jasmine, trying to ease the guilt that the young girl was feeling.

"I love you" she whispered as she wrapped her arms tightly around Zoe and Nick.

"I love you too" the adults both replied together. Their eyes met as they looked up and grins swept across their faces. Zoe realised it was family that would get her through her illness, that it was family that would keep her sane. That all the family in the world she needed were Nick and Jasmines, her Nick and Jasmine.

**Sorry for the delay in updating! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you to everyone who asked how New York via messages, it was amazing and I have plenty of ideas for chapters ;) please keep these really encouraging reviews coming and a special thank you to Aria Kelly, I loved that review! xxxxx**


	20. Reality

Zoe's eyes fluttered open to the sight of her daughter laid out on the leather sofa, a purple blanket draped over her tanned skin. One leg dressed in red pyjamas and one foot with perfectly manicured nails poking out, resting on Zoe's leg.

The familiarity of the sight brought back memories of the mornings when she would wake up to her baby girl chattering contently to herself. She always seemed to be in her own little world, where she could innocently ignore the arguments between Matt and Zoe and the lack of attention she seemed to gain.

_"Hey baby girl" Zoe whispered, stroking the tiny baby's delicate hand. Her finger was instantly gripped by Jasmine's hand, sending so many emotions through her body. So many emotions that she had to let go from Jasmine and look away. She loved her daughter beyond words but the thought of having a life, a vulnerable life, depending on her scared her. It scared her so much she often wondered if her baby would be better off on her own._

"She looks so much like you when she sleeps". A voice shook her out of her memories.

Nick. Dressed in nothing but his dressing gown. He made his way over to the sofa where Zoe and Jasmine were curled up, a mug of Zoe's favourite coffee clutched between his hands.

"Hm you are a good man Nick Jordan" Zoe smiled warmly, showing her appreciation.

"I'm an angel, me" he winked, crouching down and passing her the mug. He kissed her forehead lightly and settled himself down onto the cream carpet.

"That is a very nice cup of coffee you know" Zoe hummed, sipping the heavenly liquid. It was what always kept her calm, kept her sane and nursed her hangovers. It was her poison.

"Of course it is, I made it" Nick chuckled, stroking her silk-like hair.

"Please. Please don't do that" Zoe breathed, closing her eyes and taking in the warm scent of her coffee.

"Don't do what?" He asked, a frown developing.

"Stroke my hair" she informed covering her eyes with one shaking hand.

"You've always loved me stroking your hair, it's always made you relaxed" Nick shrugged taking the mug from Zoe's hand and placing it on the coffee table behind him.

"Look at me Zo" he ordered softly, taking her hand away from her face. She tried to pull away from him, turning to face the back of the sofa but Nick kept a firm hold of her hand.

"Nick don't" she begged looking into his eyes for the first time and letting them glaze over as her heart sank.

"Come on Zoe, talk to me" he pleaded.

"It's just I won't have any hair for you to stroke soon will I" she admitted biting her lip.

"Oh Zoe" Nick soothed embracing her quickly in a tight hug.

"After the chemo and radiotherapy I won't be the same woman as I am now" she shook her head as a small tear escaped her eye.

"Zoe, just because you won't have any hair doesn't mean you'll stop being my Zoe" he assured tracing small circles on her hand.

"It's not the hair I really care about, I've seen the patients that come into the ed with cancer, the life's dragged out of them and they know they might only have a few weeks to live, Nick to live" she raised her voice causing Jasmine to stir. Luckily she soon drifted back into a peaceful sleep completely oblivious to the conversation Zoe and Nick were having just beside her.

"I know sweetheart, but I got through my cancer didn't I" he spoke quietly battling against a lump that was forming in his throat at the mention of cancers.

"But there won't be a chance for you to forge my signature on a consent form for surgery this time" Zoe whispered. Her words his Nick straight in the heart and rocked him a little.

"No but we'll get through it all just like we do with everything else" he reassured her. He needed reassuring himself that everything would be just fine.

"I'm scared Nick I'm not ready to let go, not yet" Zoe whispered clinging onto the soft fabric of Nicks shirt. It wasn't just her hands that clung, her words clung to the air as she sobbed silently into Nicks shoulder. Reality was starting to sink in.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for all the lovely reviews as always, please keep them coming as they are all more than welcome. xxxx**


	21. Engagement Party

**Thought I would upload a bit of a happier chapter for you today. As serious and horrible as cancer is, I felt like a little bit of real Zoe and Nick romance was needed! **

The music played, beating across the room where the buzzing party guests danced the night away. The spotlights hit the ed team and captured the look of contentment on their faces perfectly. They were more than content, they were celebrating the engagement between a couple so close to their hearts. They were celebrating the engagement of the soon to be Mr and Mrs Jordan.

Absentmindedly Nicks hand wandered across the back of his fiancé's dress, lightly playing with the top of the zip.

"Planning your route?" Zoe whispered against his lips to which he simply smirked.

"Do you think they'd notice if we snuck away, put the plans into practise" he replied, his voice falling to a suggestive whisper.

"You don't need any practise getting me out of a dress, Nick Jordan" Zoe smirked truthfully.

"You're right" Nick agreed, gazing into the chocolate pools of her eyes. He lightly pushed her hair from her face.

"I'm quite an expert" he whispered, meeting her lips in a tender kiss for the second time in almost as many minutes.

The song finished and the music changed to a more upbeat number. The two were so caught up in one another the transition could have easily been missed had it not been indicated to them by Linda and Lenny. Previously mock slow dancing together they now jumped around just like children.

"I'm just getting a drink baby" Nick stepped out of Zoe's loving embrace, smiling. "Then I want you out of that dress" he whispered in her ear sending a shiver of pleasure down Zoe's spine.

"Oh I don't doubt that" she whispered keeping her eyes locked with his as she let Robyn pull her away to dance.

"I'm so jealous, you get that sexy man in your bed every night" Robyn grinned as she took Zoe's hand and spun her around.

Catching onto the fact he was being talked about, Nick sauntered over to Zoe and Robyn, two glasses of champagne in his hands. As much as he loved to have the attention he hated to be the focus of gossip. And it was no secret that Robyn did her fair share of gossiping.

"How much have you had to drink Robyn?" Zoe chuckled as the younger woman twirled her around the dance floor giggling as she did so.

"Not enough" was Robyn's response that was barely audible against her giddy laugh that she carried with her everywhere she went.

"Ah Robyn mind if I steal my fiancé away from you" Nick asked throwing her a quick wink knowing she would be ecstatic to have won one of Mr Jordan's 'famous winks'. Zoe flashed him a grin and mouthed "thank you" as Robyn began to make her way to Jamie, blushing.

"As beautiful as you look in this dress can I please get you out of it now?" Nick asked as they danced together once again.

Zoe ran her hands through her fiancé's hair, her head simply resting against his shoulder as they danced.

"Hmm.." She mumbled as if his question required contemplation. They both, of course, knew it did not. Zoe was equally as eager to continue their celebrations in their hotel room as much as Nick. With the softest of kisses their lips met, their bodies still gently swaying to the music as they danced.

"Come on Zo" Nick pleaded against her neck. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted. He took her hand and led her towards the lift where he pushed her against the wall and continued to nibble at the flesh revealed by her low cut body hugging dress. She always was a tease.

"I can't believe I can nearly get you down that aisle" he hummed against her olive skin.

"I can't believe I can nearly see you in that gorgeous suit" Zoe replied taking her hands through Nicks hair and tipping her head back in pleasure as he reached her weak spot.

"Don't I always look gorgeous in my suits" Nick chuckled, his lips now searching for hers again.

"Of course you do it's what's under those suits that only I get to see" she whispered, smiling.

"You must be a luck lady then Zoe Hanna" Nick smirked between deep kisses.

"A very lucky woman" Zoe corrected him flashing him a playful wink as the lift reached their floor and the doors began to open.

**Hope you enjoyed, please keep reviewing and sending your lovely messages, really appreciated! xx**


	22. Never Letting Go

**Uploaded twice today- very rare for me haha! I'm away until Thursday now so updates will be delayed a little until then. Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story.**

"Penny for your thoughts" Nick whispered, gazing into Zoe's glassy eyes as they stood propped against the balcony of their hotel room. The wind blew softly causing Zoe's hair to sway gently matching the silk curtains of their suite. The faint moonlight reflected beautifully off the diamond ring that sat in pride place on her left hand.

"I've been thinking" she began taking the last drag of her cigarette and discarding it onto the balcony floor, stubbing it with her signature heels. She turned round slowly to face Nick with his elbows leant on the railings. He always looked so handsome in the night, he seemed so much more relaxed and care free when the sky was dark.

"Oh that's dangerous" he chuckled taking a few steps towards her, placing his hands on her hips and massaging them slightly. "Go on then what've you been conjuring up in that gorgeous head of yours?" He asked admiring every feature of his fiancé. He loved every aspect of that woman, even when she was selfish, ungrateful and bitter. But it was the times that she seemed slightly vulnerable like this that he loved her that little bit more.

"It's just when we're married, we won't have the fun we have now will we?" She sighed, rubbing her arms, feeling the breeze against her revealed skin. The night air awakening her body and keeping her thoughts as crisp and cool as itself.

"When have we every been know to loose the fun, hey" Nick mused rocking her side to side with his hands still firmly in place on her hips.

"You say that but it's what happens isn't it, you rarely ever see married couples that actually have passion left" Zoe shrugged looping her arms carelessly around his neck and letting Nick sway her.

"This marriage can be whatever we want it to be" Nick whispered pulling her in and planting a wet kiss on her rose like lips. Zoe's mood seemed to change instantly from that one kiss as it always did.

"Anything we want?" Zoe asked playfully raising one eyebrow in a way that always enticed Nick. "Because I know exactly what I want this marriage to be" she whispered as she untied her silk dressing gown and let it slip sexily down her arms as she stood with a cheeky grin dancing on her lips. After their previous 'celebrations' neither had bothered to dress again.

"Anything we want" Nick repeated once more dropping his own dressing gown and taking Zoe in his strong arms. The warmth radiated as they fell onto the bed, perfectly in sync as if the whole set up had been rehearsed.

"I'd fight for you, I'd lie and it's true, give my life for you, you know I'd always come for you" Nick sang along in a mocking voice as the radio played softly.

"You're such a charmer" Zoe giggled, placing a chocolate covered strawberry into his open mouth and tracing small patterns on his bare chest.

"Hm I love you Zoe" he replied, brushing his nose against hers as he swallowed the strawberry. "And know this, I'm never giving you up" he finished, kissing her forehead lightly.

"Yeah yeah" Zoe smiled up at him her wide eyes sparkling.

"Never Zoe, never" he whispered against her lips before capturing them perfectly in one sweet kiss.

"I can't give you up, not now and not ever" Nick breathed against her neck sending thrills through Zoe's body.

"Well you're lucky I'm so crazy about you then aren't you?" Zoe tapped Nick's nose lightly and following it with a soft kiss, trailing them back down to his lips.

"Is that so?" Nick asked rolling over so he was on top of her their laughing filling the room.

"Well you're a very talented man" Zoe stated kissing him passionately once more, letting their bodies entwine once again.

"I could hold you for a lifetime" Nick smiled as Zoe lay on his chest close to drifting off to sleep. "And if I get my way, that's exactly what I intent to do" he whispered before closing his eyes and allowing himself to slip away into dream which of course centred around the woman who lay in his arms.

**The next few chapters will have a lot more Jasmine included. Any suggestions of how to incorporate into chapters would be greatly appreciated ( baring in mind she does now know about Zoe's cancer!) Please continue your lovely reviews and messages. Lots of love xo**


	23. The List

**Feels like a while since I've been on here so I have a nice and long update for you all ;)**

* * *

"Help me with these bags" Zoe rushed as soon as Nick walked through the front door. She was stood in the lounge with an array of bags and suitcases around her.

"Woah- what's all this" Nick chuckled hanging his coat up.

"Put your coat back on, we need to get to the airport" She ordered grabbing a suitcase and wheeling it towards the door. Nick placed a foot out, blocking her way.

"The airport?" He questioned raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah we're going to Barbados" she grinned, wide eyes twinkling. Nick couldn't deny she was pretty irresistible when her eyes glistened.

"Slow down, our holidays booked for August" he frowned slightly, taking the suitcase from her hands and perching on it.

"Well we're going now" Zoe smiled, slipping on her heels and grabbing her Louis Vuitton bag that was closest to her feet.

"What about work?" Nick asked being completely realistic as he ran a tired hand through the hair on the back of his head. It had been an incredibly long day at the ED and he was ready to relax with a nice takeaway and Zoe. He didn't picture playing off to Barbados while he was rushing around resus. As temping as the trip sounded, they needed to be in Holby.

"Come on Nick, where's your sense of adventure" Zoe beamed scooping their passports from the side cabinet.

"Where's all this come from?" He asked taking her hand and brushing his thumb over her fingers.

"I just fancy a holiday" She lied, tucking her fallen hair behind her ear and smiling, a lot weaker this time.

Nick, of course was not at all convinced with her lie.

"Come on Zoe" he begged squeezing her hand lightly.

"I made a list of things I want to do before...you know" she admitted, her deep brown eyes firmly cast down and her grip on the passports loosened.

"Oh Zoe" Nick sighed scrunching up his face and wiping his hand across it. He pulled her over to him so that she was balancing on his knee, conscious of the suitcase they were both resting on.

"Take it from me, you really don't want to have that list, you'll base your whole life around it- it'll drive you insane" Nick spoke truthfully.

"You never did tell me what I was on your list" Zoe pointed out, moving ever so slightly away from Nicks embrace to look him in the eyes.

"You weren't anything on 'my list'" Nick sighed, she always had to bring up the 'list' in most situations to get her own way.

"I wasn't worth a spot on your precious list" she muttered dropping her arms from around Nick so they were resting on her lap.

"No you are worth a lot more" He told her firmly, trying to rest his chin on shoulder but she quickly shrugged away, dismissing his attempts.

"I want to see your list- I want to see what was more important than me" She decided, jumping up from Nicks lap and running up the stairs. Nick could hear the constant opening and closing of drawers and cupboards as she searched the house for Nicks list.

The beep of the horn belonging to the taxi Zoe had called to take them to the airport, shocked him. Realising what it was, he rolled his eyes and jogged out of the house and to the side of the car. He tapped on the window and soon enough it rolled down.

"Sorry mate, but we won't be needed you" he apologised to the clearly annoyed driver. He pulled out a crisp twenty pound note from his wallet and handed it over with a brisk smile. The man took the money and drove off without any hesitation, splashing Nick with the water from a near by puddle as he did so.

* * *

"There are three entries for sex here Nick" The voice came from the top of the stairs. A small laugh escaped her lips before it hit her.

"Oh my god, we slept together three times before I found out about your tumour" she gasped, a trembling hand dropped the sheet of paper and a saddened look rapidly spread across her delicate face.

"Did you plan it all out hey? Did that Doctor Hanna look like an easy target, did I look so desperate to you!?" She yelled, her arms flinging out and knocking a framed picture of the two of them off balance.

"Oh Zoe come on you know it's nothing like that" Nick sighed, exasperated.

"No I'll tell you what I know, you've been stringing me along this whole time, the proposal, all the 'I love you's' they didn't mean a thing to you" she spat, letting all her emotions about every last thing hit Nick in one verbal attack.

"How can you say that! I love you more than life itself. I love every single thing about you but that's still not enough is it? You still want the whole world to revolve around you" he shouted back, feeling the pressure of pretending that everything would be just fine, hit him.

"No I don't want that at all. I want to know why if all you wanted from me was three nights of passion, we're standing here yelling at each other and why we're engaged"

Nick closed his eyes briefly, a small smile occurring at the fact that she still didn't understand.

"Don't you get it?" He spoke a lot softer this time, climbing the stairs cautiously. "I didn't plan on falling in love with you- I didn't think I'd ever fall for you, but I did Zoe, I fell a lot harder than I ever have" he finished, joining her on the top step.

"Doesn't seem a lot like love to me" she muttered once more, her head turning away from his.

"Why doesn't it feel like love?" Nick asked, rubbing her shoulders lightly, he could feel her relax under his touch.

"Because you can never put me first, there's always something stopping you from bothering about me" she huffed, attempting to pull her shoulders away.

"Oh for God's sake Zoe, when are you ever going to get it- every single thing I do is for you somehow" he said emphasising the last last part.  
"But that will never be enough will it, you have to be on the top everybody's priory list"

"Well you're not 'everybody' are you? You're my bloody fiancé Nick, maybe that doesn't mean a thing to you!" Zoe yelled, feeling the anger and stress build up again. The pain was building up.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Nick was at the bottom in now time at all. His voice was a lot quieter now.

"It means the world to me, not that you'd have time to realise, being so selfish as usual" he uttered taking his coat from the peg. As he shrugged it on, his eyes met his fiancé's who was now standing at the top of the stairs, one hand placed on her hip, the other resting on the banister. There was a moment of understanding and forgiveness for a moment before Zoe dragged her eyes away.

Zoe's words, however, were a lot louder.

"Yeah that's right, make it out to be all my fault as per! You know what Nick, I don't actually care anymore"

With her words, Nick approached the front door stopping to kick over one of the suitcases that was filled with his clothes. He scooped his car keys and left the house, slamming the door as he did so.

**Hola everyone hope you enjoyed. Don't feel like a lot of this chapter flows because of all the details I had to add in etc etc etc...;) Please keep the reviews coming and thank you for sticking with this **


	24. You're My Dad Now

**Some Nick-Jasmine cuteness for you here. As always I love reading your lovely reviews so please continue to write them. It just shows me you actually appreciate me taking the time to write for you all. Lots of love xx**

The ed doors slid open and in walked Jasmine. The same chaotic air to her as her mum. A coffee cup balancing dangerously on a pile of folders and loose sheets covered in her loopy handwriting and an array of highlighted words. She pushed her bouncy curls away from her face and smoothed out her dress as she reached the reception desk.

"Oh hey Jasmine your mums in cubical three with a young lad who's managed to stick some Lego up his nose if you don't mind waiting a bit" Noël chuckled to himself.

"Sounds interesting" Jasmine laughed in response. "No I'm looking for Nick actually" She explained looking around the reception area for any sign of him.

"Ok he's in his office- he has been a lot lately actually, spending a lot of time up in oncology as well, you don't think his tumours making an appearance again do you?" Noel asked curiously a wondering look on his face.

"I think he'd be in neurology if it was Noël" she laughed slightly at his confusion

"Oh and I'm sure it's just a patient, you know he probably just wanted some extra information" Jasmine lied not sure if it was convincing at all but it seemed to work as soon enough Noël was whistling away to himself and tapping his pen on the desk to the same rhythm.

Jasmine let herself into Nicks office without knocking, another thing she had conveniently inherited from Zoe along with the constant craving for caffeine.

The fruity scent of her perfume hit Nick before anything else. Mixed with the smell of coffee that he was all to familiar with, he knew exactly who it was.

"Morning Jaz" he spoke only then looking away from his computer screen. He let out a little chuckle at the chaotic scene before him. Jasmine was attempting to close the door with her foot whilst clinging onto the mountain of papers she was carrying.

"Hey Nick" she managed before dropping a few papers.

"Honestly you're as bad as your mum" Nick joked, making his way around the desk to help her.

"What's this?" He asked, intently as he crouched down to retrieve the sheets that had fallen.

"I've been doing some research about different treatments for cancer" she sighed as Nick sat himself on the sofa. He patted the leather beside him indicating for her to join him.

"You don't need to do all this darling" Nick assured, placing an arm around Jasmine's shoulder and rubbing her arm.

"I know I don't but I wanted to- I want this over as quickly as possible" she scanned her eyes over the notes she had written after sleepless nights of constant research.

"So do I but you know it's not always as easy as that" Nick admitted, fully aware that Jasmine knew how difficult for all of them the treatment process would be. She was a smart girl.

"I just want her well again" Jasmine mumbled, taking a sip of her coffee and letting the steaming liquid relax her slightly.

"I know- have you told your dad about any of this?" Nick asked, the question had been playing on his mind for a while. He was curious about Matts reaction to the news.

"He's not my dad" Jasmine shrugged, sinking down into the back of the sofa her head tipping back.

"What do you mean?" Nick questioned frowning.

"Doesn't matter" Jasmine simply replied smiling weakly at the older man. Nick returned the smile, still puzzled by what Jasmine had said to him.

"Here you go princess" Nick smiled, passing a hot chocolate over to Jasmine and joining her on the sofa. They sat with a comfortable silence lingering over them for a matter of minutes before Jasmine spoke up.

"You have spoken to her after the other night haven't you?" She asked, eyeing him closely as he sighed heavily. He wasn't coping with Zoe it was clear to anyone.

"I thought I'd give her a day to cool off a bit then I would go and talk to her but I guess we're both too proud to admit we need each other" he opened up, finding it completely natural to tell Jasmine everything he was thinking. They had developed a daughter-father like relationship almost straight away. She definitely didn't play hard to get like her mum.

"You can't let something pathetic like pride get in the way of love" Jasmine told him straightly. Nick loved the air of professionalism she had to her, he could already tell she would go far in life. Further then he could picture any young person going, she was a natural young adult.

"I know, I know I'll go round to the house tomorrow" he smiled, already mentally preparing himself for the undoubtably difficult talk with his fiancé the next day. Zoe could always have that effect on him, the effect that instantly nerved yet thrilled him all at once.

"Promise?" Jasmine asked, her wide eyes curious and bright, sparking a warm grin from Nick.

"I promise" he repeated, offering a small wink her way which was dutifully accepted and returned with a small giggle that lit up the room.

Another soft silence hung over them as they sipped their drinks and watched the warm fire crackle and spark ever so often.

"What did you mean before when you said that Matt wasn't your dad?" Nick asked leaning back into the sofa, intrigued to hear the truth.

"Well he's never exactly acted like a dad- he's never been around. I guess I see you as my dad now" Jasmine said quietly, reluctant to look up at Nick and make eye contact, feeling embarrassed after what she had just admitted.

"Oh Jaz" nick beamed, pulling her into a tight hug, his eyes beginning to well up.

"And I guess I see you as my daughter" Nick finished, stroking her back as he held her.

"We'll get through this as a family now" Jasmine nodded into Nicks chest, her arms wrapped tightly around him.

"Of course we will" Nick whispered back.

"And first thing tomorrow I will go and patch things up with your mum then I'm taking my two girls away for the day" he smiled, nodding to himself as he planned out exactly how he would win back Doctor Hanna.


End file.
